Another crazy week almost over. Sorry I haven't been around but right now I feel like I have to take every single little job that comes my way and if my blog has to suffer, so be it.
I haven't been to the gym in 3 days and have lost 3 pounds. Now I'm not using this as an excuse not to go to the gym but really?? :)
In the midst of all the crazy, some good things have been happening. I have an offer from my friends personal trainer in Florida to virtually train me in trade for helping her with some press releases. She's a martial arts master and an Olympic Athlete among other things. She wants a week's food and activity log and then she'll set me up on a plan. I love the coach I have at the Y but he's way too busy to give me the personal attention I need at the moment. The new trainer is saying absolutely no weights in the beginning. All cardio. I know that there's so much disagreement out there about whether to lift or not but I'm going to see if this works for a while. She wants me to start the journal for her on a Monday so hopefully by the following week, I'll have her analysis. In the meantime, I'm getting my ass back to the gym I swear. I need to stay off the Lexapro.
The best news of all? I have a lunch date with Tammy on Sunday. This is the first time ever meeting a blog friend in person. She's done so well and has been such a huge support to me. I'm so excited! We will make sure to take a picture!
Anyway, back to the grind. Time for some lunch, a walk, and more work!
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Friday, January 22, 2010
Time to experiment
Thank you all so much for all your comments on yesterdays post. I really appreciate all the advice and it helped me face the scale for my Friday weigh in which is almost unbelievably up a pound. Whatever. Just more proof I need to play around with what I'm doing before I freak out any more.
Sometimes I really don't know what I would do without my blog and my blog friends.
First of all, an example of what my diet has been like for those of you who were kind enough to offer to look at it.
Typical day:
Breakfast: Steel Cut Oats with a couple tablespoons dried fruit and a splash of soymilk
After gym snack: banana and 2 teaspoons of peanut butter
Lunch: sandwich turkey and lowfat cheese on a sandwich thin or half sandwich on organic rye lettuce and tomato.
Afternoon snack: 10 almonds and lowfat string cheese
Dinner: 6oz protein of some sort, vegetables and occasionally some brown rice.
Snack: 1% Milk and a 60 cal sugar free pudding or a graham cracker.
Here is an example of my daily Sparkpeople stats
I seem to be okay in most things. I'm definitely not eating enough vegetables but I usually start eating salads in the spring again.
One comment I got that was really interesting was about the Lexapro. I know I gained weight when I was on it and after doing a little bit of research, lots of people have had problems losing while they were on it and for a month or so after going off of it. I'm staying off of it and continuing to try to combat my anxiety issues with exercise. I also realized I no longer spend $20 a month on the pills which now goes to my gym membership:)
Here's my plan for the next month:
Learn my BMR and really work the numbers on my calorie intake (this is hard for me. I suck at math. I'm a fine arts major!)
Track measurements and body fat percentage
Reduce carbs (keeping oatmeal but focusing on protein and veggies for the rest of the day)
More water
500 calorie burning cardio sessions 6-7 days per week
no weight machines, just abs, pushups, squats and lunges
Thank you all again for all the advice and contributing to my plan for the next month. Please feel free to critique and keep it coming. I feel like I have so many people cheering me on and that's the main reason I'm not giving up.
I've gotten a few awards lately and I so appreciate them but haven't been in the best frame of mind to acknowledge them yet. I have a post saved as a draft and I promise to get to that this weekend.
Have a great weekend all my blogofriends!
Sometimes I really don't know what I would do without my blog and my blog friends.
First of all, an example of what my diet has been like for those of you who were kind enough to offer to look at it.
Typical day:
Breakfast: Steel Cut Oats with a couple tablespoons dried fruit and a splash of soymilk
After gym snack: banana and 2 teaspoons of peanut butter
Lunch: sandwich turkey and lowfat cheese on a sandwich thin or half sandwich on organic rye lettuce and tomato.
Afternoon snack: 10 almonds and lowfat string cheese
Dinner: 6oz protein of some sort, vegetables and occasionally some brown rice.
Snack: 1% Milk and a 60 cal sugar free pudding or a graham cracker.
Here is an example of my daily Sparkpeople stats
I seem to be okay in most things. I'm definitely not eating enough vegetables but I usually start eating salads in the spring again.
One comment I got that was really interesting was about the Lexapro. I know I gained weight when I was on it and after doing a little bit of research, lots of people have had problems losing while they were on it and for a month or so after going off of it. I'm staying off of it and continuing to try to combat my anxiety issues with exercise. I also realized I no longer spend $20 a month on the pills which now goes to my gym membership:)
Here's my plan for the next month:
Learn my BMR and really work the numbers on my calorie intake (this is hard for me. I suck at math. I'm a fine arts major!)
Track measurements and body fat percentage
Reduce carbs (keeping oatmeal but focusing on protein and veggies for the rest of the day)
More water
500 calorie burning cardio sessions 6-7 days per week
no weight machines, just abs, pushups, squats and lunges
Thank you all again for all the advice and contributing to my plan for the next month. Please feel free to critique and keep it coming. I feel like I have so many people cheering me on and that's the main reason I'm not giving up.
I've gotten a few awards lately and I so appreciate them but haven't been in the best frame of mind to acknowledge them yet. I have a post saved as a draft and I promise to get to that this weekend.
Have a great weekend all my blogofriends!
Thursday, January 21, 2010
One month of gym
It's been exactly a month since I joined the gym. Out of those 30 days I've been there 24 times.
I got on the scale and it STILL hasn't moved. Only 3 pounds in one month. I know that people say (but Jillian doesn't agree) that muscle weighs more than fat. That's great but surely there should be some progress by now.
Let me preface the rest of this post by saying I'm not giving up (yet)
I feel like I've tried everything. I'm sitting here typing in tears because I think I'm eventually going to have to have surgery. The thyroid has been checked 800 million times. I've been on every diet on earth. When I lost 100 pounds it was because I was working out like crazy and not eating. Don't think I haven't thought about doing that again. Some of my skinniest friends never eat. Maybe a steady diet of lattes, cigarettes and cocaine?
I'm eating 1500 calories a day, working out 6 days a week, not drinking alcohol, drinking more water. I don't know what else to do.
I'm going to shoot for another month of 6 days a week at the gym and maybe dropping my calories to 1300 or 1400. I'm also going to finally do my BMR to make sure I have a daily calorie deficit. Then, one more trip to the doctor for the thyroid test(which is borderline but still normal). Next stop, lap band seminar. I just can't imagine life after that surgery but is it better than being fat and on the fast road to dying young? My father died at 49. Only 9 years away.
I don't think I've mentioned this but I've been off Lexapro for over a month and I've been doing really well until today. My anxiety issues are all brought on by other people (my doctor said "aren't they all" which I thought was quite funny) I had a small anxiety attack in the pool because it was really crowded and someone wanted to share my lane. I explained that I was fat and slow but skinny miss pro swimmer didn't seem to mind until she realized I was indeed slow (like I said) I take up twice as much room as they do so why don't they just share lanes with each other? They have the lanes marked fast and medium but not a slow or even beached whale option. You think you could tell by looking at me that I wasn't in the fast or even medium category. Finally she went off to share a lane with her kind but I was already so worked up I only managed 3/4 of my workout. As soon as I got out of the pool the senior water aerobics class were all getting out and showering and I thought I was going to explode.
Sorry to dump this all out here today. I know it's a mess of a post going in a million different directions but I might really be at the end of my rope this time and I feel like it's important to put it all out there. If anyone has any advice about what I might be doing wrong please let me know. I thought I knew it all in regards to diet and exercise but maybe I don't.
I got on the scale and it STILL hasn't moved. Only 3 pounds in one month. I know that people say (but Jillian doesn't agree) that muscle weighs more than fat. That's great but surely there should be some progress by now.
Let me preface the rest of this post by saying I'm not giving up (yet)
I feel like I've tried everything. I'm sitting here typing in tears because I think I'm eventually going to have to have surgery. The thyroid has been checked 800 million times. I've been on every diet on earth. When I lost 100 pounds it was because I was working out like crazy and not eating. Don't think I haven't thought about doing that again. Some of my skinniest friends never eat. Maybe a steady diet of lattes, cigarettes and cocaine?
I'm eating 1500 calories a day, working out 6 days a week, not drinking alcohol, drinking more water. I don't know what else to do.
I'm going to shoot for another month of 6 days a week at the gym and maybe dropping my calories to 1300 or 1400. I'm also going to finally do my BMR to make sure I have a daily calorie deficit. Then, one more trip to the doctor for the thyroid test(which is borderline but still normal). Next stop, lap band seminar. I just can't imagine life after that surgery but is it better than being fat and on the fast road to dying young? My father died at 49. Only 9 years away.
I don't think I've mentioned this but I've been off Lexapro for over a month and I've been doing really well until today. My anxiety issues are all brought on by other people (my doctor said "aren't they all" which I thought was quite funny) I had a small anxiety attack in the pool because it was really crowded and someone wanted to share my lane. I explained that I was fat and slow but skinny miss pro swimmer didn't seem to mind until she realized I was indeed slow (like I said) I take up twice as much room as they do so why don't they just share lanes with each other? They have the lanes marked fast and medium but not a slow or even beached whale option. You think you could tell by looking at me that I wasn't in the fast or even medium category. Finally she went off to share a lane with her kind but I was already so worked up I only managed 3/4 of my workout. As soon as I got out of the pool the senior water aerobics class were all getting out and showering and I thought I was going to explode.
Sorry to dump this all out here today. I know it's a mess of a post going in a million different directions but I might really be at the end of my rope this time and I feel like it's important to put it all out there. If anyone has any advice about what I might be doing wrong please let me know. I thought I knew it all in regards to diet and exercise but maybe I don't.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
still swimming
I have been a bad blogger and a bad blog friend. I just haven't had a second!
After a big struggle, I'm finally falling into my routine of eating right, working out 6 days a week and still managing to work for myself about 10 hours a day. It's been just about a month since I've been religiously working out and while the scale is not showing huge losses, I feel a bazillion times better. The working out is giving me the energy to do the work I need to do to get my business up and running.
Back in the days of working for the man, I always dreamed of working at home with my dogs and being the "superwoman" who could work, and blog, and exercise, and keep an immaculate house. Never did I realize how fast a day can go by. I'll be sitting at the computer and suddenly it's 5:00 and I haven't even showered much less started dinner or laundry or anything else that needs to get done. I think now that I'm on a good schedule, I can try to at least incorporate one household chore per day. I told my husband I was going to make a chore chart like when I was a kid. Actually, that's not a half bad idea :)
I have been entering my calories every day in Spark People and just haven't managed to do the math to update my calorie countdown. I will I promise. I did manage to put up last weeks loss though. Not impressive numbers by any means but I really can feel a difference. Scale can suck it. Hope everyone is having a great week!!
After a big struggle, I'm finally falling into my routine of eating right, working out 6 days a week and still managing to work for myself about 10 hours a day. It's been just about a month since I've been religiously working out and while the scale is not showing huge losses, I feel a bazillion times better. The working out is giving me the energy to do the work I need to do to get my business up and running.
Back in the days of working for the man, I always dreamed of working at home with my dogs and being the "superwoman" who could work, and blog, and exercise, and keep an immaculate house. Never did I realize how fast a day can go by. I'll be sitting at the computer and suddenly it's 5:00 and I haven't even showered much less started dinner or laundry or anything else that needs to get done. I think now that I'm on a good schedule, I can try to at least incorporate one household chore per day. I told my husband I was going to make a chore chart like when I was a kid. Actually, that's not a half bad idea :)
I have been entering my calories every day in Spark People and just haven't managed to do the math to update my calorie countdown. I will I promise. I did manage to put up last weeks loss though. Not impressive numbers by any means but I really can feel a difference. Scale can suck it. Hope everyone is having a great week!!
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Monday Mix Tape - Extended version
Happy Monday everyone! Since I left my job, that phrase is no longer an oxymoron. There can be such a thing as a happy Monday! It makes me realize how miserable I was and how badly I was treated. There may even be a shred of self-confidence working its way back to the surface!
I'm sitting here about to get to work, surrounded by the smell of chlorine (after 2 showers) and my muscles are zinging from a 45 minute swim. I feel great!
I have to be on my best behavior this week since I'm starting a week long food and activity journal for the wonderful woman who is going to virtually train me. I have stocked the fridge with lean protein and veggies, I have every meal planned and written on the calendar as well as every workout through Saturday. I'm the picture of perfection! :)
Although I worked a lot, the weekend was great and I finally got to meet our friend Tammy! We had a great lunch at the Cheesecake Factory and if you haven't seen it on her blog, here are the pics!
Tammy is so sweet and funny and a huge support to me. Although we live pretty far apart, I plan on spending a lot more time with this chick!
And finally, it's time I addressed some awards I've received lately!
Thank you to
heather at going from fat to well-rounded (love the name!)
Margo
Okay there were like 5 more and I'm a dumbass and just deleted the links I've been saving and can't bring them back. Grrrr. Instead of being mad about it I'll just do what I'm supposed to do and list 1o things that make me happy - it's hard to narrow it down! (no particular order btw)
1. My husband. Every single day I see his sweet face I can't believe how lucky I am.
2. Dogs. The more the better. I've said before if I were to win the lottery I would open the worlds biggest dog-rescue farm.
3. Design. I consider myself blessed to have the ability to create just about anything. Nothing makes me happier than a beautifully executed idea. I love to see a soda can or a logo I designed out in the real world.
4. DIY. I love any project around the house or yard that requires tons of work and getting dirty. I also like to watch all the shows of people DIY stuff while I drink coffee.
5. Coffee. The more expensive the better!
6. Swimming. I love to be in the water. Ocean or pool. I grew up in Sarasota Florida and miss it desperately. One day when I have my successful company that runs itself, I will live there again. Then I will have a pool in my backyard and will share a lane with NO ONE! :)
7. Friends. I don't have a ton of friends like I used to but the ones I have are the best.
8. Music. I'm a complete dork when it comes to music. I still love everything from the 80s and will not miss a Duran Duran concert (once I went 3 out of 5 nights they were here). I sing all the time (only by myself) and its REALLY hard not to sing at the gym with my ipod on.
9. My mom. She is the most amazing, supportive, sweet little mom anyone could have. She lives with my step-dad in the middle of the mountains in North Carolina. I love being only 2 hours away so we can go visit anytime. It always feels like a vacation! 2 out of 2 dogs agree.
10. My blog. I can't believe I've kept this up as long as I have. I'm not a writer by any means and it means so much to me that people continue to read my blog. Even the bloggers who have lost tons of weight and gained hundreds of followers take the time to check in on me. Thank you all!
Whew. Anyone still with me? I'm done now! Time to get work. Have a great week everybody!
I'm sitting here about to get to work, surrounded by the smell of chlorine (after 2 showers) and my muscles are zinging from a 45 minute swim. I feel great!
I have to be on my best behavior this week since I'm starting a week long food and activity journal for the wonderful woman who is going to virtually train me. I have stocked the fridge with lean protein and veggies, I have every meal planned and written on the calendar as well as every workout through Saturday. I'm the picture of perfection! :)
Although I worked a lot, the weekend was great and I finally got to meet our friend Tammy! We had a great lunch at the Cheesecake Factory and if you haven't seen it on her blog, here are the pics!
Tammy is so sweet and funny and a huge support to me. Although we live pretty far apart, I plan on spending a lot more time with this chick!
And finally, it's time I addressed some awards I've received lately!
Thank you to
heather at going from fat to well-rounded (love the name!)
Margo
Okay there were like 5 more and I'm a dumbass and just deleted the links I've been saving and can't bring them back. Grrrr. Instead of being mad about it I'll just do what I'm supposed to do and list 1o things that make me happy - it's hard to narrow it down! (no particular order btw)
1. My husband. Every single day I see his sweet face I can't believe how lucky I am.
2. Dogs. The more the better. I've said before if I were to win the lottery I would open the worlds biggest dog-rescue farm.
3. Design. I consider myself blessed to have the ability to create just about anything. Nothing makes me happier than a beautifully executed idea. I love to see a soda can or a logo I designed out in the real world.
4. DIY. I love any project around the house or yard that requires tons of work and getting dirty. I also like to watch all the shows of people DIY stuff while I drink coffee.
5. Coffee. The more expensive the better!
6. Swimming. I love to be in the water. Ocean or pool. I grew up in Sarasota Florida and miss it desperately. One day when I have my successful company that runs itself, I will live there again. Then I will have a pool in my backyard and will share a lane with NO ONE! :)
7. Friends. I don't have a ton of friends like I used to but the ones I have are the best.
8. Music. I'm a complete dork when it comes to music. I still love everything from the 80s and will not miss a Duran Duran concert (once I went 3 out of 5 nights they were here). I sing all the time (only by myself) and its REALLY hard not to sing at the gym with my ipod on.
9. My mom. She is the most amazing, supportive, sweet little mom anyone could have. She lives with my step-dad in the middle of the mountains in North Carolina. I love being only 2 hours away so we can go visit anytime. It always feels like a vacation! 2 out of 2 dogs agree.
10. My blog. I can't believe I've kept this up as long as I have. I'm not a writer by any means and it means so much to me that people continue to read my blog. Even the bloggers who have lost tons of weight and gained hundreds of followers take the time to check in on me. Thank you all!
Whew. Anyone still with me? I'm done now! Time to get work. Have a great week everybody!
What a difference a day makes
In my 40 years I've come to realize that if you just continue to do good, it comes back to you. I've been doing more good than ever since I have time and I'm seeing some good signs on the work front. I can't make any money yet being on unemployment but I'm setting the wheels in motion for the future and getting some good response.
Now lets apply that attitude to the fat fight. If I continue to work out and eat right, the results will follow. Simple right?
I had that revelation just a few minutes ago and wanted to get that down in my blog for when I have another craptastic day. I can look back and remind myself that it's not about the numbers. I do need to measure myself. I just put that on my to-do list.
I had a 7:15 appt. with my coach and we set up my leg work out. Now that all the machines are set up the nifty little computer system, I can do my routine on my own. He will check on it every couple of weeks and up my repetitions or weight or whatever needs to be done. He agreed on the plan of the weight routines and cardio 3 days a week and swimming (or a cardio class) on 3 other days. I've never had a gym this close or a flexible schedule and I feel like I can really do this.
My husband sent me a text this morning telling me he was proud of me and that I'm inspiring him to keep going. I'm such a lucky girl.
Now lets apply that attitude to the fat fight. If I continue to work out and eat right, the results will follow. Simple right?
I had that revelation just a few minutes ago and wanted to get that down in my blog for when I have another craptastic day. I can look back and remind myself that it's not about the numbers. I do need to measure myself. I just put that on my to-do list.
I had a 7:15 appt. with my coach and we set up my leg work out. Now that all the machines are set up the nifty little computer system, I can do my routine on my own. He will check on it every couple of weeks and up my repetitions or weight or whatever needs to be done. He agreed on the plan of the weight routines and cardio 3 days a week and swimming (or a cardio class) on 3 other days. I've never had a gym this close or a flexible schedule and I feel like I can really do this.
My husband sent me a text this morning telling me he was proud of me and that I'm inspiring him to keep going. I'm such a lucky girl.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
craptastic
I just went to the gym for 30 minutes and didn't work out.
I had to wait a little later to go because I had a call this morning and the place was packed. At 10am! I thought for sure the guy just hanging on the edge was about done with his swim but no. He just walked the length of the pool once every 1o minutes. I sat in the hot tub hoping that someone would be finished but 3o minutes later, I was still sitting there doing nothing. At this point my hair is wet and I only have my bathing suit, towel and flip flops so there's not a lot of options. I have to be somewhere at noon so I had no choice but to come home.
I guess it was the icing on the cake after stupidly stepping on the scale this morning, followed by a visit to the wild world of web for job postings of which there are 2. That combined with a failed attempt to exercise has me in a bad way today. Most of the time I'm so optimistic but today it seems like nothing is worth it. 3 weeks of 6 days a week at the gym has me less than 2 pounds down and I'm not sure if I can ever make enough money on my own. The old self doubt is creeping up on me again and has taken over my brain today.
It's 11 now and I have to shower and go out. I have accomplished nothing yet today but logging my calories and this great big whine fest. I'm hoping the rest of the day is a little better.
3:30 pm Updated to say my business partner gave me a huge kick in the ass and I feel better on the creative front. On the fat front, I went to the grocery store to pick up a few things, and bought a bag of candy. I took a single bite on the way home and threw it out the window. Sorry for littering but this was couple thousand calorie disaster averted. Instead I'm making us a nice curry. Victory is mine (said in a Stewie voice)
I had to wait a little later to go because I had a call this morning and the place was packed. At 10am! I thought for sure the guy just hanging on the edge was about done with his swim but no. He just walked the length of the pool once every 1o minutes. I sat in the hot tub hoping that someone would be finished but 3o minutes later, I was still sitting there doing nothing. At this point my hair is wet and I only have my bathing suit, towel and flip flops so there's not a lot of options. I have to be somewhere at noon so I had no choice but to come home.
I guess it was the icing on the cake after stupidly stepping on the scale this morning, followed by a visit to the wild world of web for job postings of which there are 2. That combined with a failed attempt to exercise has me in a bad way today. Most of the time I'm so optimistic but today it seems like nothing is worth it. 3 weeks of 6 days a week at the gym has me less than 2 pounds down and I'm not sure if I can ever make enough money on my own. The old self doubt is creeping up on me again and has taken over my brain today.
It's 11 now and I have to shower and go out. I have accomplished nothing yet today but logging my calories and this great big whine fest. I'm hoping the rest of the day is a little better.
3:30 pm Updated to say my business partner gave me a huge kick in the ass and I feel better on the creative front. On the fat front, I went to the grocery store to pick up a few things, and bought a bag of candy. I took a single bite on the way home and threw it out the window. Sorry for littering but this was couple thousand calorie disaster averted. Instead I'm making us a nice curry. Victory is mine (said in a Stewie voice)
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