Monday Mixtape - Bittersweet Blogiversary Edition

Hi all. I totally apologize for my lack of updates but the usual craziness disclaimer applies. I know I've been bad when people are checking up on me.

Speaking of people checking up on me, y'all know that Shelley is my hero. I posed for this picture because it reminded me of her.

I haven't been on my bike in 7 years. First day - 4 blocks!

I just had my 3 year blogiversary but I chose not to acknowledge it because I don't feel very successful. Maybe that's a mistake and I should be celebrating all the progress I've made on the fitness front and I did say this year was about self discovery. I just don't feel like celebrating because I'm STILL not in control of my eating. Work has been even busier if that is even possible. After almost 2 years of owning my own business, I still can't say no to anything so I'm working an average of 12-14 hours a day. The days that get into the 'teens' range of hours are the dangerous days...the ones where my eating falls apart. Being too busy is the number one lamest excuse for being fat but sometimes I have to admit it's a huge factor.

I have 4 weeks until I go on the first vacation with my husband in over 3 years. We are going to the keys which to me, is heaven on earth. I could lose 10 pounds and be really happy so my goal is simply to keep up my pretty stellar workout routine, combine that with some calorie counting and hopefully get back to that feeling okay in a bathing suit place by then!

My mom said she didn't like my picture on my blog so I changed it. I just had to find a headshot for a business presentation so I used the same one. In case I've never said this before, my mom is always right!

Here's to a great week!

struggling!

I have never been an ask for help when you need it kind of person which is really stupid when you think about it. I have a huge network of people who inspire me and have great ideas that get me through the tough times. That said, I'm reaching out.

Eating has been my downfall lately. I have been obsessed with food. Combine that with a terrible sweet tooth and zero interest in anything healthy and we have a problem. It almost makes me depressed when we only have chicken and vegetables for dinner?!?! I know I need to eat lunch but nothing sounds good. It doesn't help that I don't like vegetables all that much but I do force myself to eat them. I tried cutting way down on carbs and I thought it would cure my cravings but I can't deprive myself of anything when I'm working out this hard. I NEED the fuel.

I've put some more effort in this week to find ways to get more veggies in like making broccoli slaw and going to the farmers market for really fresh and interesting vegetables. It's easier in the winter because I hide them in chili, soup and sauces.

So, how do y'all get your veggies in? What keeps you full and satisfied? I'm all ears...er, I mean eyes! :)

Always a new day...

I'm feeling MUCH better than last week thankfully so I thought I owed my blog some attention. Food poisoning is awful. I think it was grocery store sushi which is a bummer because I will never eat it again. Only the expensive stuff from now on!

The week has gotten off to a good start. I was really active over the weekend...well Saturday I was OVER active and Sunday was a little slow and sore. I had my group training class last night which was a killer and off to yoga tonight. I know that if I don't start doing cardio again regularly I'm not going to lose even though I feel great. The interesting this is my body fat is down between 7 and 10% which is probably why I feel great but again, I'm working too hard not be losing poundage.

I've been a little iffy with food yet so it's been hard to eat things like yogurt and vegetables but I'm still trying really hard to eat really healthy. I told my trainer that I almost ate something I shouldn't and then I remembered how hard our warm up was for this month and I didn't want to do that for nothing :) Yet another reason the exercise pays off.

Before I get back to work I wanted to say thank you so much to all my followers. I just hit the 500 mark and it was something I NEVER expected. I started this blog as a diary for myself and am still amazed every day that people care what I have to say! :) I'm not a writer by any means and it really means a lot that so many people have stuck around and supported me through good, bad, pounds lost, pounds gained. I've even made some wonderful friends along the way.

running in circles

Sometimes I feel like my life is like running a race on a track. Some days you win, some days you lose but you never really get anywhere. Oh and there are plenty of hurdles to jump along the way.

Every week I set out with the best intentions in the world for week full of exercise and healthy eating. It's only Wednesday and I've already had a flat tire and food poisoning. I've had no exercise and have been living on white bread and ginger ale.

I forced down a yogurt this morning - so far so good - and I'm hoping to be back to exercising tomorrow but right now I feel like I got hit by a bus!
Here's hoping for some smooth sailing for a while. I need to make some progress and it's so hard when so much gets in the way.

Day 3 of 17

Hi Y'all. I just hit my 16th year of living in Atlanta so I say that all the time now :)

Despite the hideous double mortgage payment incident, I haven't missed a beat and I'm truly proud of that. I so wanted to drown my sorrows in white bread and mac and cheese.

I started the 17 day diet Monday as planned and so far so good. The book is truly terrible. It talks about things like "becoming a hottie" and the food lists and recipes leave a lot to be desired. It's very basic - lean proteins, veggies, fruit and 2 servings of anything probiotic. That's the first 17 days. After that you slowly add whole grains back in. Maybe it's because I've done every diet known to man that it seems basic...that and I hate diets. I'm doing this because I had to do something.

I thought I'd be laying twitching in padded locked room like a heroin addict but it hasn't been that bad. After a dinner of protein and veggies I REALLY need a little something sweet so I've been having a sugar free jello pudding for 60 cals. Not on the plan but I don't see how it could really have that much of an effect on my progress.

Because there wasn't a ton of money to buy food this month, I roasted a 7 lb. chicken (more than I weighed as an infant!) on the grill and have therefore had very chicken-y week thus far. Chicken and vegetable soup has been great along with a spinach salad for lunch. Breakfast has been the same as always thankfully. Yogurt and berries - just omitted my usual handful of Kashi Go Lean Crunch. Dinner is some sort of protein on the grill (or more chicken) and veggies. I even did some mashed cauliflower which was a great starch substitute. There's not much more to it than that!

Today will be my first "challenge" which is lunch AND dinner out. The plan is to decide what I'm having ahead of time and sticking to it. It's really not that big of a deal I suppose...I just tend to make it a bigger deal than it needs to be.

A mid-week check in has me 4 lbs. down (hooray!) but I will report officially on Monday which will be 7 days from my start. I was up a full 11 pounds from my arm injury and I'm not wearing my new white pants again until that's gone!

On the fitness front, because I have a seriously awesome (and understanding) trainer, I've changed my personal training session over to one of her group sessions at least for the month. That way, I can still afford to have her - just not one-on-one (which I already miss!!). My schedule is pretty much the same as well Monday,Wednesday,Saturday is my group training which is a mix of pilates and weights, Tuesdays is my long standing bikram yoga class, Thursdays I run a 5k (on the treadmill for the summer) and Sundays have been my only off day. I'm planning on walking to my class on Saturday which is about 2 miles with a mega giant hill in both directions but since I have extra time on the weekends, I might as well make good use of it.

So it looks like I will make it over yet another huge hurdle in my life. I guess that's a huge part of this journey!!

Stronger but still weak

I did the single dumbest thing I’ve ever done in my life.

I accidentally paid my mortgage twice.

Just so you know, if you ever do that, they don’t give it back.

As I watched my bank account go $2,000 in the negative, I have been eating like a crazy person and haven’t stopped. I feel awful. Bloated, weak, tired, nauseous…basically poisoned.

WTF is wrong with me that I turn to something that can make me feel so bad??? I guess that’s what heroin and meth addicts ask themselves as they continue to destroy themselves.

Day before yesterday, I was at my worst. I cried all day over losing our entire life savings over a stupid mistake. It’s been almost 2 years since I lost my job and that’s how long it’s taken to actually save up a couple grand again. I considered giving up my plan to start the 17 day diet (on Monday naturally!) and live on mac and cheese and white bread.

Then I came to my senses.

It doesn’t cost any more money to live on lean protein, veggies, fruit and yogurt which is what this plan is all about…at least for first few weeks.

So that’s that. I’m getting my sh*t together while I somehow work harder to make up for this devastating event.

I’ll be back on Monday for the day one update.

Let's talk about food

Despite by busy schedule, you'll all be happy to know I have been working out like a crazy person. Every muscle hurts just about every day. It feels great and things are firm enough to wear white pants again but I have been ignoring the diet portion of this journey in a bad way.

I spend my precious down-time with my husband and friends – "rewarding" ourselves with food and drink. We haven't been going crazy on the junk, just richer food, eating out, larger portions, more alcohol etc. It's amazing how that behavior can creep back into your lifestyle slowly, without even noticing.

I work too hard to not be dropping weight so I'm thinking of starting the 17-day diet. I hate to even mention "diet" on this blog because I don't believe it them but I do believe in calorie shifting (lower one day, higher the next) to keep the metabolism guessing. This would just be a way for me to follow that a little more easily. I'm reading the book. I will let y'all know what I think. If anyone has any advice, I'm willing to hear it!

Have a great, healthy week everyone!