No one ever told me that when you hit your forties, it all starts to go downhill.
I've considered myself lucky for so long that I haven't had any issues related to my years of obesity, a history of smoking, drinking etc. I was a seriously healthy person.
My recent asthma diagnosis was only part of it and yesterday I got a call saying they looked at my pulmonary function tests and my echocardiogram together and are seeing signs of mild pulmonary hypertension and signs of mild emphysema. That has me a little more freaked out that just plain ol' asthma.
I'm seeing a pulmonologist in early March and I'll know more but in the mean time, no half marathon. I can exercise but nothing 'extreme' like 13 miles. For now. I'm hoping to be able to downgrade to the 5k which I'm allowed to do so at least I won't lose my money and will have something to look forward to.
Maybe this is why I'm struggling to get past a 5k. Maybe I will be able to do more when this is diagnosed and treated?
For the first time (or maybe I'm just now realizing this) my body is holding me back from what I want to do. I don't just want to be skinny. I WANT to be a runner. I WANT to be that active, fit person who knows no limits. I have the energy and the mindset to do all of it and the body just can't.
My trainer said last night that she thinks I'm at a real turning point and positive place in my life where I can do some great things for myself. I'm not taking that lightly. I've got the tools in place. Between my yoga instructors and my trainer, I have an army of hot chicks working on me. I can be one of them if I take this seriously and keep working my ass off to pay for it all.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
you look mahvelous....
When I first started yoga I had a hard time looking myself in the mirrors that surround me. Our instructor always says to find your eyes in the mirror and focus on them. I don't want to look because in my mind I look SO much better. Last night I knew she was specifically talking to me when she said "find your eyes find your eyes find your eyes". My balance must be getting better because I found them and I looked. I really looked.
I'll tell ya, what I saw was a hundred million times better looking than the first disheartening look I too more than 6 months ago. My body has completely changed and I've barely lost a pound.
Last nights class was miserable. Too many people sucking up what little oxygen was in the room, too many men smelling of man feet, had to stand right in front of the humidifier etc. I was so nauseous from the smell I didn't do really well for the 2nd half but maybe last night was meant my time to appreciate my progress, even on a bad day.
Maybe, one day, the scale will move again.
I'll tell ya, what I saw was a hundred million times better looking than the first disheartening look I too more than 6 months ago. My body has completely changed and I've barely lost a pound.
Last nights class was miserable. Too many people sucking up what little oxygen was in the room, too many men smelling of man feet, had to stand right in front of the humidifier etc. I was so nauseous from the smell I didn't do really well for the 2nd half but maybe last night was meant my time to appreciate my progress, even on a bad day.
Maybe, one day, the scale will move again.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Digging deep
Sometimes I think I totally sell myself short on my athletic abilities. I never thought I was a "I can't do that" kind of person but I hold myself back sometimes. This is exactly why I hired a trainer. To push me beyond these limits I set for myself in my head. Did you guys know I could do a minute long plank? I sure didn't! I still couldn't believe it until I did it for the 2nd time yesterday. I'll report back on the plank progress when I get to 2 minutes!! :)
She is exactly what I was looking for. The perfect combination of butt kicking workout and a dose of encouragement and happy, me time. I look forward to going to her studio as much as yoga.
Speaking of yoga, I have forced myself to only go one night a week and pound the pavement the rest of the time. I've been putting in some serious miles and only had one small freak-out about the 1/2 marathon. I had read that participants had to keep a pace of 4 mph (which is not going to happen) but then the "worlds nicest ex-boyfriend" pointed out that the course was open for 7 hours and that old ladies with walkers could finish it in that amount of time. He's right and now I'm not going to worry (as much) and just do my very best. I may be last but I will finish it.
Things would be so much easier if only some more weight would come off. I'm considering a major shift in my diet...possibly going meat free for a while and see if that stirs up the metabolism a bit. It's worth a shot!
She is exactly what I was looking for. The perfect combination of butt kicking workout and a dose of encouragement and happy, me time. I look forward to going to her studio as much as yoga.
Speaking of yoga, I have forced myself to only go one night a week and pound the pavement the rest of the time. I've been putting in some serious miles and only had one small freak-out about the 1/2 marathon. I had read that participants had to keep a pace of 4 mph (which is not going to happen) but then the "worlds nicest ex-boyfriend" pointed out that the course was open for 7 hours and that old ladies with walkers could finish it in that amount of time. He's right and now I'm not going to worry (as much) and just do my very best. I may be last but I will finish it.
Things would be so much easier if only some more weight would come off. I'm considering a major shift in my diet...possibly going meat free for a while and see if that stirs up the metabolism a bit. It's worth a shot!
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