Friday, November 18, 2016
New website!
If you haven't already heard/read, NY was a dream come true. So much so that I've launched a new website AND am writing a book. Visit my new site! www.fatathon.com
Wednesday, October 12, 2016
Video!
My friends helped me make a video about my journey to the NY Marathon. I hope you think this is as cool as I do.
Thursday, October 6, 2016
Just eat the fu#*ing english muffin
It's been a long LONG time since I've posted and I've been putting it off for months now but the time has come to write about the day that everything changed.
On July 25th, I woke to a phone call at 6:30 am from a random person telling me my husband had been in a bicycle accident. As I got dressed in a haze I packed my laptop thinking it would probably be a long day in the ER but everything would be fine. I kept saying "please be okay. Please be okay." Over and over. When I got to the desk they sent me through a door and that's when I saw the ER full of people and 2 people on top of him doing CPR. I knew right away that it had been over an hour and I just collapsed into the arms of the doctor.
There was no accident. He just died of a heart attack right then and there on his bicycle on his way to work. Just like that the love of my life was gone forever at 51 years old and suddenly I'm a 46 year old widow. I can't even believe this is my life.
In the weeks leading up to this, I was experimenting with the whole 30 diet after gaining 15 pounds training for my first marathon. It was SO hard. My brain missed dairy and alcohol the most. My body missed grains. My heart missed having fun and being social. Whole 30 is not recommended during training or intense physical activity but at this point I was "only" doing 10 mile runs at that point ramping up to my 2nd marathon. On July 23rd, after that 10 mile run, I finished in cold sweats and saw black spots and headed to the nearest breakfast restaurant to say goodbye to the whole 30 and eat an english muffin.
When I got home I broke the rules again and jumped on the scale and was delighted to have lost 15 pounds in the 17 days I made it on the program. Of course in my brain that means "let's celebrate and and have fun and drink all weekend now wooohooo!!"
I had A LOT of fun and A LOT to drink that day. So much so that we woke up the next morning in the guest room to my 5:30 alarm. I was confused but got up as I remembered I was supposed to go on a sunrise hike. He asked where I was going and I said "hiking stone mountain!" He said "You're crazy!" I said "I know!" and I kissed him and walked out the door. That morning while I was out hiking, he completed a huge personal challenge of his own which was 10,000 miles on his new bike on map my ride.
Later that day we spent the afternoon in our local pub laughing about the night before and how we ended up in the guest room ;). It was SUCH a fun weekend. More fun that people should be having as I would say about some of our weekends together.
The next morning he left for work and never came back. I'm sure he kissed me. In fact I know he did but I don't remember. What I am thankful for is that I ate the english muffin which led to a weekend of fun which was to be our last.
To me the moral of the story is about balance. Something I'm always seeking. I was obsessed with my weight gain and took a drastic measure to change it but lost myself in the battle once again. Health and maintaining my weight loss is important. Happiness, love and fun are important too.
People ask how I'm doing and I say okay but really I'm not sure. I'm still going to run the NYC marathon which is a former fat girls dream come true. In 2010 I wrote about doing it one day for Al Roker but now I'm doing it for Ali too. He was supposed to have come with me on this trip in 28 days.
Stay strong, hug your loved ones and find the balance. You just never know. You will always be the love of my life Alistair Tait.
On July 25th, I woke to a phone call at 6:30 am from a random person telling me my husband had been in a bicycle accident. As I got dressed in a haze I packed my laptop thinking it would probably be a long day in the ER but everything would be fine. I kept saying "please be okay. Please be okay." Over and over. When I got to the desk they sent me through a door and that's when I saw the ER full of people and 2 people on top of him doing CPR. I knew right away that it had been over an hour and I just collapsed into the arms of the doctor.
There was no accident. He just died of a heart attack right then and there on his bicycle on his way to work. Just like that the love of my life was gone forever at 51 years old and suddenly I'm a 46 year old widow. I can't even believe this is my life.
In the weeks leading up to this, I was experimenting with the whole 30 diet after gaining 15 pounds training for my first marathon. It was SO hard. My brain missed dairy and alcohol the most. My body missed grains. My heart missed having fun and being social. Whole 30 is not recommended during training or intense physical activity but at this point I was "only" doing 10 mile runs at that point ramping up to my 2nd marathon. On July 23rd, after that 10 mile run, I finished in cold sweats and saw black spots and headed to the nearest breakfast restaurant to say goodbye to the whole 30 and eat an english muffin.
When I got home I broke the rules again and jumped on the scale and was delighted to have lost 15 pounds in the 17 days I made it on the program. Of course in my brain that means "let's celebrate and and have fun and drink all weekend now wooohooo!!"
I had A LOT of fun and A LOT to drink that day. So much so that we woke up the next morning in the guest room to my 5:30 alarm. I was confused but got up as I remembered I was supposed to go on a sunrise hike. He asked where I was going and I said "hiking stone mountain!" He said "You're crazy!" I said "I know!" and I kissed him and walked out the door. That morning while I was out hiking, he completed a huge personal challenge of his own which was 10,000 miles on his new bike on map my ride.
Later that day we spent the afternoon in our local pub laughing about the night before and how we ended up in the guest room ;). It was SUCH a fun weekend. More fun that people should be having as I would say about some of our weekends together.
The next morning he left for work and never came back. I'm sure he kissed me. In fact I know he did but I don't remember. What I am thankful for is that I ate the english muffin which led to a weekend of fun which was to be our last.
To me the moral of the story is about balance. Something I'm always seeking. I was obsessed with my weight gain and took a drastic measure to change it but lost myself in the battle once again. Health and maintaining my weight loss is important. Happiness, love and fun are important too.
People ask how I'm doing and I say okay but really I'm not sure. I'm still going to run the NYC marathon which is a former fat girls dream come true. In 2010 I wrote about doing it one day for Al Roker but now I'm doing it for Ali too. He was supposed to have come with me on this trip in 28 days.
Stay strong, hug your loved ones and find the balance. You just never know. You will always be the love of my life Alistair Tait.
Thursday, June 2, 2016
26.2 - The finish line
Why yes it HAS been forever since I posted (yet again). I guess I was busy becoming a MARATHONER! :)
What's funny is that I wasn't inspired to post about it immediately. I had every intention of writing about it the day after but I was still so high from it that I could barely form a sentence. I'm also glad I took the time to reflect on the whole experience and really figure out what it meant to me. Finding the answer to that question I asked myself quite alot during training and the race..."why do people do this shit??!!??!!"
What can I say about it except that it was "all the things". It was rainy and cold and then it was sunny and hot. It was awesome and it was awful. It was the best and the worst. And it was still the second best day of my life ever (after my wedding of course!)
My body was drained but my heart was so full. Full from the love and camaraderie of TWENTY PLUS people from the Atlanta Track Club that made the trip for this race. From the support of my incredible friends who trained with me and waited for me to finish really really really long runs and then help me celebrate. From the love of my husband who kissed me goodbye every morning at 4:45 and always believed in me. From the non-stop messages, gifts and cards from friends and family across the world. From the pride I felt in myself from completing 18 weeks of marathon training (which IMO is actually harder than a marathon). From the JOYFUL distraction of my friend who couldn't run but instead rode his bike with us, took pictures, and kept us updated on our other runners (nothing like having your own personal bike support!). From the support of my amazing friend (and former fat guy) who ran his own marathon then ran back to run us in. And most of all (and this one makes me cry) crossing the finish line with the four incredible women that were with me for the whole thing.
That's what got me through. That "heart full of goodness" was even more of an accomplishment to me than 26.2 miles or crossing the finish "swine" 5 hours and 42 minutes later.
I've found myself a little "lost" since the race. Suddenly it was all over and kind of back to reality. I took a week off running and then I had to have boob surgery again (nothing serious) which turned into a few weeks of not working out. Time off for me is promblematic.
I mean seriously I just ran a marathon and right away I'm worried about what the next big goal is?
I didn't realize just how much I rely on exercise and running to fight the boredom-depression-eating cycle I'm famous for.
Which brings me to the inspiration for this post. I'm finally back at yoga which is ESSENTIAL for my body and my brain. I gave up way too much of it for running during training and I'm finally back in my regular practice 3ish days a week. I felt immediately better after the first week and already the second week has me inspired enough to write!
I've been struggling with maintenance. I gained 10 pounds during marathon training which is somewhat normal but it terrifies me. Yes my body held on to it to fuel me for 6 hours of running, yes I gained some muscle and yes I ate ALL the carbs. And the sugar. And all the foods. And about 700 gallons of mimosas. So that part is on me and it's the part the surgery does NOT fix. Luckily I've learned a lot and know what I need to do.
So now what IS next? Next is the New York City Marathon. Next is a new and improved blog/website and a then a book. (For real!) Next is losing this 10 pounds. There I said it and now it's out there in the universe. And I will of course be blogging about all these things along the way! I will make an official announcement when the new site is live so it's not buried in the bottom of this post (in which case thank you for still reading!) Stay tuned!
What's funny is that I wasn't inspired to post about it immediately. I had every intention of writing about it the day after but I was still so high from it that I could barely form a sentence. I'm also glad I took the time to reflect on the whole experience and really figure out what it meant to me. Finding the answer to that question I asked myself quite alot during training and the race..."why do people do this shit??!!??!!"
What can I say about it except that it was "all the things". It was rainy and cold and then it was sunny and hot. It was awesome and it was awful. It was the best and the worst. And it was still the second best day of my life ever (after my wedding of course!)
My body was drained but my heart was so full. Full from the love and camaraderie of TWENTY PLUS people from the Atlanta Track Club that made the trip for this race. From the support of my incredible friends who trained with me and waited for me to finish really really really long runs and then help me celebrate. From the love of my husband who kissed me goodbye every morning at 4:45 and always believed in me. From the non-stop messages, gifts and cards from friends and family across the world. From the pride I felt in myself from completing 18 weeks of marathon training (which IMO is actually harder than a marathon). From the JOYFUL distraction of my friend who couldn't run but instead rode his bike with us, took pictures, and kept us updated on our other runners (nothing like having your own personal bike support!). From the support of my amazing friend (and former fat guy) who ran his own marathon then ran back to run us in. And most of all (and this one makes me cry) crossing the finish line with the four incredible women that were with me for the whole thing.
 |
| For added inspiration my friend on the right has lost more than 170 pounds and it was also her first marathon. All these other badasses are pros :) |
I've found myself a little "lost" since the race. Suddenly it was all over and kind of back to reality. I took a week off running and then I had to have boob surgery again (nothing serious) which turned into a few weeks of not working out. Time off for me is promblematic.
I mean seriously I just ran a marathon and right away I'm worried about what the next big goal is?
I didn't realize just how much I rely on exercise and running to fight the boredom-depression-eating cycle I'm famous for.
Which brings me to the inspiration for this post. I'm finally back at yoga which is ESSENTIAL for my body and my brain. I gave up way too much of it for running during training and I'm finally back in my regular practice 3ish days a week. I felt immediately better after the first week and already the second week has me inspired enough to write!
Sometimes it's not the start/ beginning or the ending of something that's the hardest. It's the practice of maintaining it that's the challenge. - most amazing yoga teacher @wellnesswithjenn
I've been struggling with maintenance. I gained 10 pounds during marathon training which is somewhat normal but it terrifies me. Yes my body held on to it to fuel me for 6 hours of running, yes I gained some muscle and yes I ate ALL the carbs. And the sugar. And all the foods. And about 700 gallons of mimosas. So that part is on me and it's the part the surgery does NOT fix. Luckily I've learned a lot and know what I need to do.
So now what IS next? Next is the New York City Marathon. Next is a new and improved blog/website and a then a book. (For real!) Next is losing this 10 pounds. There I said it and now it's out there in the universe. And I will of course be blogging about all these things along the way! I will make an official announcement when the new site is live so it's not buried in the bottom of this post (in which case thank you for still reading!) Stay tuned!
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| that .2 is long..... |
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