Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Exercise and Fear

As I've been saying for the last few weeks, blogging is helping me dig deeper into my issues regarding my weight loss efforts. This being honest with myself is VERY new to me!

This morning I was laying in bed asking myself WHY I didn't want to get up and exercise. What was it that was keeping me in bed? I was awake and didn't still didn't want to so I dug a little deeper. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks.

When I'm out of breath I'm afraid.

I lost my father when he was 49 from a cardiac arrhythmia. He struggled with his weight his entire life. I always think "I'm next". When I have an anxiety attack, which isn't very often, It makes my heart beat fast which makes me afraid which makes it worse.

Maybe this issue requires therapy. I've tried it in the past and I don't know if it works for me because I generally have an awesome life.

Maybe I need a full cardiology workup since my husband works for one of the best in the country. My dad had that though and it obviously didn't help.

I wonder if there is anything that will put my mind at ease.

Have any of you ever experienced this? If so, is there anything you've done to get past it?

I know that sitting here typing and staring down at my fat stomach isn't helping but at least there are workout clothes wrapped around the fat gut ready for a good walk at lunch. Fear or no fear.


  1. Wow Tina, what a realization! Deep-seated fear can cause a lot of anxieties. Maybe a cardiac workup would help ease your mind, especially considering your family history. I'm sorry about losing your dad so young...that's rough.

  2. That's a pretty big revelation there Tina. I hope you can figure out what you need to do to get over that hump.

  3. Look how good you're getting at figuring things out. I'm so sorry about your Dad but that doesn't mean you're his carbon copy. My mom had all kinds of ailments her entire life and so far none of her kids have followed suit and we're all into our 50's already.

    Get checked out for some peace of mind. I have anxiety too and it's a bear but nobody ever died from a panic attack. Hang in there.

  4. Beautiful insight. I lost both parents when I was young (11 and 23-dad and mon respectively) and I have had health anxiety as long as I remember. I'm not sure if the early experiences play a role. I have done a lot of therapy and it's helped, but the fear is still with me. But it doesn't hook me the way it used to.

    It's wonderful that you gave yourself a chance to get at some of the deeper issues. I believe this will help your journey. And it's never a bad idea to get a thorough physical to ease your mind. Thanks for a powerful post.

  5. I actually have very, very similar issues, although I have not lost someone like you have. Honestly, what is getting me past it is finally doing something about my weight. Working out regularly and eating healthier has given me the knowledge that I am helping my heart. It has made a huge difference and I actually haven't had more than one or two very, very minor issues since I committed to this. I feel for you on this, Tina, but you are on the right path. Do not let fear stop you!

  6. You are a brave lady. I'm proud that you are going to walk, fear or no fear.

  7. Tina,

    When I got hospitalized for high BP, I started having lots of tests done on my heart to make sure it was OK. There were some minor issues, so I was so afraid to do anything (I too have a bad family history of heart disease). I started off with very short walks until I felt stronger and more comfortable. And, it is so reassuring having a cardiologist... go get that check up and feel better about it all...

  8. I don't know how you religious you are, but for me, I overcome most things through prayer. God is an awesome God.

    With that said, you have to do everything you can to help yourself. God helps those who help themselves. First, I would go to the cardiologist. That would be a definite for me. If you have some problems, you now have the knowledge to get them fixed. If you don't, you have the peace of mind that you need.

    My mom has a few heart problems that she controls with medicine. But I'll tell you who my real inspiration is to get out there and get the exercise done. It's my Dad. He was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis when I was 17 yrs old and a senior in high school. There is no cure. It's 20 years later now, and he's confined to a mobilized chair or his wheelchair. First it was a cane, then a walker, and now he can barely walk.

    When I don't want to walk, I think about him. I thank God that I am ABLE to walk. That I have working legs and feet. I walk for my Dad, because he can't. Usually, you don't have to look very far to find inspiration to do something. We're surrounded by it. I hope this helps. :)

  9. That's huge! The brain has so many well hidden land mines. Knowing is half the battle. I'm sorry about your dad, but you can also use this as a catalyst to get healthy and put your mind at ease. I think visiting the cardiologist would be an excellent idea.

  10. When I turned 47, I developed a cardiac arrhythmia and I felt like my heart was trying to escape from my chest all the time. I was put on a beta-blocker to slow my heart down. And that worked.
    Since I've lost weight (60+ pounds), and more importantly, exercise on a regular basis, I no longer have the chronic arrhythmia. I am off the beta-blocker and now my heart rate is actually slow - a condition known as slow athletic heart rate. Regular exercise actually corrected this problem for me. I'm 50 now, and after a full cardiac workup, I've been given a clean bill of health.
    I also come from a family plagued with heart problems. Get your doctor's ok first, but exercise is the best thing you can do to strengthen your heart! Think of that when you'd rather stay in bed. It's one of the things that gets me moving.

  11. wow.
    just reading that was so powerful and it makes SO MUCH SENSE.

    Ive never had a panic attack but am married to someone who did/does.

    as much as I CAN TELL HIM that feeling wont kill him (literally) in the moment he says it 100% feels as though it could...so your sentence makes total sense to me with that backdrop as well.


  12. What an amazing introduction... this is the first post of yours I have read. I almost didn't want to reply, feel like I fell onto something so personal. However, it is so spectacular that you are that in tune with yourself and your feelings. Kudos to you and a big hug :)