Wednesday, July 7, 2010

the vicious circle

I can't believe how long it's been since I was here last.

It all started with a piece of pound cake. We're not talking any ordinary pound cake, this was a real southern ALL butter pound cake. I had one slice and then was forced to take half home from the dinner party. I put it in the freezer thinking that would deter me but it only made it more delicious.

At that point I was on week 5 of couch to 5k and finally feeling good again after the ups and downs of the job loss and starting my own company.

I probably shouldn't blame it all on the pound cake. One day out of the blue I suffered what I now know was a full blown anxiety attack. I've suffered with anxiety as long as I can remember and went off the Lexapro once I was out of my miserable job situation. I had some small anxiety attacks in the past but it seemed to be going great until that one day - I truly thought I was dying.

Since then, I've had a full cardiology workup and given the all clear but I have done nothing more than dog walking in flip-flops for exercise. It felt weird putting on my running shoes when we went for a hike in the mountains over the weekend. I'm back on the meds and feeling so much better but the answer to all my other problems is exercise and I'm still not doing it.

The vicious circle goes a little like this: not eating right+lack of exercise=not sleeping well=lack of energy=not eating right+lack of exercise.

This blog post today was my first step in getting back on track. I don't have a plan other than a fridge full of healthy food and 6am gym on the schedule for tomorrow. Not even sure what I'll do yet but anything is better than this. I owe it to myself. I owe it to my husband. I'm hoping coming back to the blog will keep me accountable.

12 comments:

  1. I know that for me, the blog is one of the keystones in my weight loss plan. If I shelved the blog, I know that I'd start backsliding almost immediately, and it would happen just like you outlined. One domino toppling another until you're riding that slippery slope ass first.

    It doesn't have to be an all-or-nothing proposition, Tina. Just get started on a plan you can truly live with and build on it. Find a way to incorporate exercise into your day... for me that's a lunchtime workout six days a week.

    But the real key is to build on whatever you do, because whatever you start with won't be enough for the long haul and the long haul is what you are most definitely interested in.

    Pound cake... that's the Devil's second favorite cake (Devil's Food is his favorite).

    ReplyDelete
  2. Welcome back, my friend...sounds like you've got the tools in hand to get down to business. Baby steps - you can do this. Looking forward to hearing how the gym went.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Welcome back! We've missed you. Sorry that you've hit a rough patch, but I'm confident you can get back on track. Baby steps is right, even if it just means walking the dogs while wearing *sneakers*! I'm pulling for you.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thank you for coming back! I've been slacking pretty bad myself lately (... sorry gym) and it's always nice to see people in my position making a positive first step again. back to the gym for me, thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I was so glad to see you in my Google Reader! I'd love if you'd like to be email exercise accountability partners! Just a thought: hillarythomsen@hotmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  6. Well now I feel stupid!! I was purposely not texting or calling you to check on you because I figured you were still so covered up with work and I would just be distracting you from your company-building stuff!!! Please forgive me sweet friend...I should have called...I had no idea you were struggling...but we're all here to welcome you back with open arms...missed you bunches Tina. :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. So glad to see you are back!!! I have checked continuously for weeks looking for an update.

    I totally understand about the hiccup--but know that you will set those mini-goals and succeed.

    Do let us know how the gym was this a.m.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hi! I've been lurking on your blog for over a year now, and I have commented once or twice. I'm glad to see you back! You know, when you started your Couch to 5K and signed up for the Race for the Cure, it gave me the guts to sign up for my local Race for the Cure this past June. So thanks for that! You really motivate people, and I'm glad you've gotten back on the horse. Backsliding happens to everyone. If backsliding were an Olympic event I would win at least the silver medal for the U.S. The important thing is to try again when you're ready.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Glad your back and feeling better, Tina! Just take it all one day at a time. :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hi Tina, I'm Liana. I feel for you having been in the similar situation myself countless times. The main thing is you haven't given up, and are back on track. I'm into Day 4 of my journey, and have also just started blogging. I find it really helpful.

    ReplyDelete