Friday, January 11, 2013


Things are starting to sink in a little bit around here. I'm experiencing a full range of crazy. Sad, impatient, scared, anxious, sleepless, bitchy, excited, tired, hungry, nauseous, etc. etc.

It started when the dietician/coordinator said the date to me for the first time -  it's not confirmed but it's looking like January 29th. When she said it I had a mini anxiety attack. A tingling from my toes to the top of my head and I thought I was going to faint.

Now I know I'm not going to die on the operating table but we're getting to the point where I'm seeing people for the last time before going in for surgery (like mom) and I'm losing my sh*t. This is completely unexpected. I don't know how I ever thought I should know what to expect since I've never had anything but wisdom teeth surgery (which was horrific and I threw up all over Worlds Nicest Ex Boyfriend - more than once). I had lunch with  mom yesterday and my sister invited her husband (which was fine) but also a guy he works with that didn't know. I kinda freaked out a little and I feel bad for it. But I apologized. (I have a feeling I'm going to have to do a bit of apologizing over the next few weeks).

I can't stop crying today so I texted the amazing Crys who has gone through all of this and of course said all of the right things and I'm going to take her advice as always. She said to allow myself to feel all the feelings and that it's scary and emotional to be so close to something we want so badly. The bad news? "This is just the prologue of crazy. You've got 10 more chapters and the benediction my friend." That was my first laugh of the day. Thank God I've been working with my clients forever and when I burst into tears on the phone they get it!

I already feel better for blogging about it so thanks to everyone for your love, support and prayers. I'm also taking of advantage of this moment to apologize in advance to anyone who has to be around me for the next 2 weeks. I love you all and it's not you it's me!


  1. Hi,
    I'm a new reader on your blog, but I just wanted to send a shout out to a soon-to-be fellow sleever! I had my VSG surgery 18 months ago, and I'm so very very glad. It hasn't magically fixed all my eating issues, but I never expected it to. What it HAS done is give me a fighting chance at keeping the weight off, and I'll take all the help I can get there. I still have to work at it, but at least I don't feel like the deck's stacked against me. Welcome to the "club"! We're all terrified pre-op, and many of us are a bit overwhelmed post-op, but it's an exciting and rewarding journey. Best of luck to you!

  2. Good luck with the boob job! Wait... you are getting a boob job, right? I've been skimming lately...

  3. No worries here, Tina - you're anticipating a major event and of course you should be feeling all of the things you're feeling! You know we're rooting for you, right? :)

  4. It's possible that I'm more excited for your surgery than my own. I'm so so excited for the journey ahead of you and to be on it with you and to getting our 13.1 sticker. Don't get frustrated with yourself. Just buckle up and ride the emotional rollercoaster. Your relationship with probably one of the most constant parts of your life is changing. It's scary. It's emotional. It's exciting. It's anxiety-producing. It's the journey. I just can't wait for you to see yourself on the other side of it. I can't wait!

  5. Good luck with your surgery. I'm an anxiety-prone person by nature so I would be feeling uneasy worrying about the what-ifs.

    I think it's totally normally to be feeling emotional.