Dreams (the sleep kind and the aspirational kind)

Sometimes I really think I'm crazier than most people. I have the most vivid dreams every night that I remember fully when I wake up. They aren't horrible nightmares or anything just stress dreams involving packing for a trip to Scotland or planning my wedding or losing my wallet. The worst one is that I'm not graduating from college because I haven't gone to a class all year or something. I probably have that more than any others or mixed in with the others. When I wake up, I feel as tired as if I had actually been through what was in my dream. I've done some research about controlling dreams but it doesn't seem to be working. I think I will try to learn how to meditate. I also thought about hanging my college diploma by my bed to remind myself I graduated 10 years ago :) It's frustrating so if anyone has any advice it would be much appreciated!

Now on to the Big Dream. My mother (and father when he was alive) have always taught me that I can do anything I want to do and be anyone I want to be. They never even blinked when I died my hair blue or told them I wanted to go to art school. I feel that I have something in me as a designer that would free me from a hateful work schedule and commute. The idea I've been pursuing and it's been much more difficult that I'd anticipated. Some days I think it's going to work and other days I wonder if it's a good idea. It's made me very scattered and unfocused but I still feel like it might be worth the work.

It's hard to take an hour a day out of the crazy to exercise and another hour to cook healthy meals. Combine that with 2 hours of driving and 9 hours work and there's not much left of the day for the Big Dream.

In the mean time I'm to find a balance between all the things I want to do and all the things I have to do. Last nights dinner of pork tenderloin and roasted brussels sprouts was worthy of a photograph if I would have had the energy! I know I have it in me. I guess I should listen to my dad's voice in my head saying "no one every got anywhere without hard work". True dat daddy-o.

The rollercoaster

I swear, I gain weight faster than anyone I know. 7 pounds in 7 days. I've even had my thyroid tested a million times and nothing is wrong in that department. The strange thing is my body fat percentage has gone down 1.5% if the Tanita scale can be trusted. It also says my water percentage is up. I'm not too frustrated though because I'm sure a lot of is water from all the salty food I ate. Today I'm really taking it easy on the calories and drinking a ton of water. Simple soup and salad for lunch and some ww pasta and homemade sauce after my water aerobics class tonight.

We went and saw The English Beat (or The Beat as they are know in the UK) on Saturday night. I sure wish someone would teach a Ska/Reggae dance class because I've been so sore ever since! It was fun and obviously good exercise. That combined with 2 hours of I-pod vacuuming and a romp with the dogs made for a fun workout weekend.

I'm not going to let the scale get me down. "Onward and Downward" as Dietgirl would say. I finished her book over my vacation and it was totally amazing and inspiring. I'm almost done with Half of Me by Pastaqueen which has also been a really fun read. Both of these girls never gave up and neither will I.

My sweet husband has lost 8 pounds and I'm so happy for him. Boys. Sheesh. All they have to do is quit drinking beer on weekdays :)

On a fun note I've been working on an idea for my own business that's looking like it might actually come together. It's part of my never ending quest to ditch my commute and stay home with the dogs. It's taking tons of time and brain space but it will be worth it if it works out.

I hope everyone out there has a great week!!

Back to the grind

It feels great to be back to my husband and my dogs but the office, not so much! I have tons of work piled up but it was worth it. So was all the food I ate!

Sometimes you just have to enjoy the chance to indulge a little. I was at a conference and food was astonishing and everywhere. I had caramelized onion and roast beef sliders, pork carnitas, mini cobb salads in martini glasses, chocolate fondue. I stayed away from the junk I could get anywhere and chose to eat the really unique things you don't see everyday. Plus I walked so much I had to soak my feet!

I didn't weigh in this morning but I will tomorrow and asess the damage. Then I will get right back on track as I promised myself I would. I'm not waiting until Monday :)

Outa here

I'm off to Florida for some much needed warmth and some time with girlfriends. Then, a work event in Orlando. I will be back next Thursday. I have healthy snacks packed and have checked out the gym at both hotels so hopefully it won't be too much of a disaster!

Inpiration

I love what Dr. Oz says about the ups and downs of a weight loss journey. He says to think of a navigation system. It doesn't scream at you, quit or keep you going in the wrong direction when you make a wrong a turn. It simply tells you to make the first available u-turn.

I think my biggest problem has been taking the rest of the week off when I mess up and "starting over again on Monday". Ahhh maybe that's why I've hated Mondays most of my life? Same with New Years Eve?

Last night was chaos. I worked super late so I missed my class. Then we had a pizza. 2 slices of thin crust. But I didn't let it throw me off. I got up this morning, worked out on the elliptical for 30 minutes and I'm eating well again today.

I'm not going to blow it this time. I'm not going to sabotage my success by waiting until Monday to get back on track time I eat something unhealthy. I'm going to make the first available u-turn and stay the course.

I've been reading The Amazing Adventures of Diet Girl and she never gave up. Even after days, weeks, or even months of bad eating. She always got back on track. Talk about inspiration!

Lazy weekend

I survived my first week and did reasonably well. I ate way too much over the weekend but I learned a few things from my mistakes. Like not having any chocolate in the house at all even though it's portion controlled dark chocolate. Lets just say there was an incident.

I was SO incredibly sore from my Friday night water aerobics class that I didn't do much exercise either. I worked myself extra hard and it felt great. Once it's not freezing and raining I'll be much more inclined to exercise on the weekend outdoors with my husband and the dogs. Something to look forward to!

According to the scales I put back on 2 pounds over the weekend but I'm not going to record weight daily this week nor am I going to obsess about it. That's only for the first week "honeymoon" pounds :) Friday will be my weigh in day from now on.

Once again I have meals planned for the whole week and I've even switched over to greek yogurt with frozen berries instead of my loaded with Aspertame old standby. I'm really liking it.

Tonight is water aerobics again which I can't fathom as I sit shivering at my desk right now. Hopefully I can get as great of a workout with the Monday night instructor even though he talks too much to the old ladies. It's making me feel great to back in the pool again so I will carry on.

Hope everyone has a fantastic week!!

Raging against the machine

Last night was a strange one. I picked my husband up from the gym, traffic was horrible and took an hour and a half to get home. Thursday is the new Friday in Atlanta for some reason traffic wise. We are both feeling under the weather and fighting this cold only to get home and find they've shut off our water for me forgetting to pay the December bill. I just flat out forgot due to Christmas but the bastards shut off our water anyway. Just a little over a month late. I guess what really sent me over the edge is that our water meter is mere feet away from one in front of an empty house that has been leaking water and gushing down the street for 2 months. So they can be bothered to come shut off my water for a slightly late bill but can't be bothered to fix the one that's losing hundreds of gallons a day. I love it when they say "thank you for being a valued customer". Like I have a choice. I'll just go sign up for Florida water or something? BAH!

So this sparks some pent up anger in both my husband and I over the state of this city. On Tuesday night, a bartender in one of the pubs nearby was shot 9 times and killed. 4 guys broke in at closing, they gave them all of the money but they shot him anyway. We didn't know him personally but we know the owners well and loads of friends of his. It's really turned more into an outcry from the neighborhood about police cutbacks. Suddenly the thugs seem to be winning again. I love my neighborhood so much and I want us to win this war. I really really do.

So my husband is raging on about America and guns and how can people in this country just cut you off of life's essentials like water at the drop of hat and not care if you die etc. etc. I'm balling on the couch for forgetting to pay a stupid bill as they are telling me it will be 24-48 hours before we have water again. It was not a good night.

Finally we settled down to eat our dinner which I fortunately had already planned on bringing home from the rotisserie chicken place. He had chicken and green beans and I had an awesome salad. We watched the Daily Show and Thursday night tv and went to bed.

Since I didn't work out yesterday, I was planning on going to the gym this morning, mostly to shower, but somehow I forgot to set the alarm clock. I boiled the water that was left in the kettle and at least managed to wash my face. My husband stayed home from work which means he is REALLY not feeling well but was happy to report the water was back on a half hour after I left.

Isn't it funny how one stupid thing can snowball into a giant crisis? My husband and I always talk about our feelings (Scottish men are SO sweet and sensitive!) but I don't think we properly addressed all the rage building up in both of this over the shooting. I think we were too busy working out this week! Must remember to vent as well as exercise : )

Whew that feels good to get that all out!!

In all the chaos I forgot to weigh in this morning but I've been perfect so I'm not worried about it. I'm treating myself to a grilled chicken sandwich from Chick-Fil-A for lunch and we are having oven fried buffalo chicken and sweet potato and zucchini fries for dinner. I thought that would be a great substitute for the 2 pounds of chicken wings we usually consume on a Friday night. That's part of my eating strategy right now - healthy versions of our favorite things. In fack I'm going to look up some Juan Carlos Cruz recipes for that very thang.

One more quick story before I bore you to tears. I had a coupon for $2 off Tums (antacid) that I wanted to use before it expired. I was about to go buy some until I realized that I haven't had to take one since cutting out the crap. Immediately, my heartburn went away. It was so bad it was waking me up in the middle of the night. It stopped after 1 day of eating better. ONE DAY!

I'm really feelin' it people. I'm proud of myself for the good choices I've made this week. I didn't die, I didn't go hungry, and this 5+ pounds I've lost has already made a huge difference. I'm going to water aerobics tonight. People actually go to the gym on a Friday night. Who knew? : )