I should practice what I preach (aka the brown ponytail freakout)

As my post from yesterday indicated, I was feeling very positive and happy over the weekend and being thankful for all I have.

Then came a new work week and good ol' reality reared its ugly head. The more I enjoy things the more I worry that it's all going to ripped out from underneath me. Things are bleak on the business front. We are waiting on a letter from a potential new client that could save our asses. If it doesn't happen, there's a good chance we won't survive this.

One of the reasons we chose to live in America instead of Scotland was because of my job (well and the weather!) so I'm the breadwinner in the family. The 20 grand pay cut I just got really hurts but we can survive. If I have no job, that's a different story.

I think it's the uncertainty that's killing me. I'm sure the rest of the world is feeling this too but I wish something, ANYTHING would happen to get us moving in the right direction again. This flu pandemic is not going to help matters at all.

I almost felt bad about today's post because you all were so sweet in your comments yesterday and happy that I was feeling so happy. I need to practice what I preach and I'm embarassed to say that this freak out all started over my hair. My usual cute blonde bob has become a boring light brown ponytail. I just can't justify spending $200 on it right now with all this uncertainty. I even told my hairdresser of 14 years that I coudn't afford it right now thinking he may give me a break on the price. No, he's an asshole. Just like my husband says!

I need to work on a plan. I thought about going to church or that meditation class I've been wanting to go to. Maybe I just need to sit down with a pen and paper and write down all my options and crazy career ideas I've had in the past. I can usually pick up some freelance work when I need some extra cash but I haven't been able to find any. I should probably put some more effort into that. I have a 1,000 page Dreamweaver book I've been working my way through hoping I can make my own portfolio site. I suppose that counts as effort!

Wow, blogging really helps me get some stuff out! Who needs therapy!! :)

What do you all do to calm the voices in your head and stay optimistic through tough times?

Slowing down

I was all set to post today with a big ol' rant about how I constantly go off track and sabotage myself, being sick to death of making time to exercise and constantly questioning everything I eat, drink, smoke, do and not do. I have not been doing very well and my body and my mind were seriously making me aware of that.

But then...then there was new patio furniture.

So what does that have to do with anything you ask? I swear I'll get to that. My across the street neighbors are moving to Mumbai and as I was going out to the car yesterday to get my gym bag (that was not used all week) two doors down neighbor came over and said "across the street neighbors want to borrow your pressure washer and in return you can have their entire wicker patio set." Before my husband knew what hit him, I asked him to grab the pressure washer and come with me. I didn't even have time to explain and 10 minutes later we had a $800 set of 2 chairs, sofa and coffee table. 20 minutes later I had it all set up and the 2 old rocking chairs at the curb.

Before this furniture arrived in my life we had the two old rocking chairs and a table and chair set on the deck. It was nice but not comortable for sitting at for a long time. Suddenly we had a real "room" outside and I can't say I've ever had such a relaxing, enjoyable afternoon on my deck. The husband went away with a friend for a couple hours to our local pub and I just sat in the stillness. Both dogs were asleep in the sun and I spent some time taking in just how amazing my life is and I need to spend a hell of a lot more time being grateful for what I have. We spend so much time working on the house and the yard and rarely take the time to just enjoy the beauty of what we've accomplished. It used to be pine straw and baskeball hoop out there and with little money and a ton of elbow grease we've turned it into a paradise.

I spent all day Saturday clearing out brush and raking the back yard. I worked so hard my hair was soaked through. I'm just so happy I took those few hours on Sunday to really enjoy the fruits of my labor.

Speaking of "fruits of my labor" I picked my first lettuce that I GREW. It was only a handful or so but I made my co-worker a tiny salad with some homemade balsamic dressing someone in our neighborhood makes. Tonight I'm going to have a BLT with the little bit that's left.

I saw a story on the news this weekend about an organization called Slow Down London that are on a week long mission to try to slow down Londoners. They were marching through the streets VERY slowly and enjoying the sights. I thought it was an interesting concept if only to make people aware of how quickly we move through every day.

I don't know how but I have to fit in this down time more. As always, it comes back to this working out in the morning thing that I've heard people do ;)

p.s. I tried Chobani 0% greek yogurt this morning and it was awful. It was liquidy and way too sweet. I was being lazy and not wanting to do my Trader Joes greek with fresh berries. Won't be making that mistake again!

How much did she lose this week?

I know y'all will be extremely disappointed but I'm taking the day off from my official weigh in because I have been


partying with my peeps!

I don't plan on making this a habit but I feel relaxed and happy today and I know where I stand so I'm skipping a week.

I did get on the scale this morning and I'm up 3 pounds but hopefully after a day or two of really clean eating, I will be at least back where I was. I have my gym bag packed and I'm ready for a good class tonight. It's amazing how just a few days off makes me dread going back but there will be no excuses. Even though I'd rather be in my garden.

In other news, I've discovered I love organic soy milk coffee creamer from Trader Joes and have finally ditched my chemical-laden coffee mate sugar free vanilla. The coffee tastes great and it's probably going to save me some money.

I got this comment on my last post from MizFit

We missed you.
And have totally saved you a seat here up front.

By the driver.
So it is waaay harder to fall off.

xo xo,

The Wagon

I needed that so much today. Thank you for saving my seat. I'm now in it. Next to the driver. Strapped in and giving directions :)

Back in the groove

Okay it's time to get back in the groove again. I fell off the wagon so hard this weekend my whole body hurts. It's time to face the fact that I'm not young anymore and I cannot drink for 10 hours and expect to live to see the next day. I had a blast though. I was very ill for the 4 hour drive home and I'm not going to go into any more detail about that. Let's just say I'm thankful for having such a sweet and caring husband who got me through it.

My mom is coming to visit tomorrow so I'm taking the day off. I have so much to do around the house that I'm going to try to use my vacuuming and remaining yard work to get my exercise in until I can get back to the gym on Wednesday. I really miss it!!

Have a great week everyone!

proud of who? me?

I had a physical this morning that I had been dreading for months. I love my doctor but I get so nervous that my blood pressure is usually high as well as my heart rate etc. Then the have to re-do it because it's high and that makes me more nervous etc. This morning I was totally cool. Maybe it was because I wasn't allowed to have anything to eat or drink including coffee. Maybe it was because I'm feeling more confident. Regardless, she gave me her usual diagnosis of "ridiculously healthy" and then she said she was PROUD OF ME for losing 14lbs!!! I wonder if she even knows how much that meant to me. Hopefully my blood work will all come back great and I'll be good for another year. Maybe by that time she won't recognize me.

I have to admit I've lost my mojo a little this week. It's been crazy busy and I've been working in the yard every night instead of exercising. I can't let this continue and must get back in the gym after my trip this weekend.

Have a great weekend everyone!!!

How much did she lose this week?

Nada! Zero! Zip!...and I'm happy about it!

I dodged the Easter bullet by exercising to make up for the champagne, the peeps, mom's cookies etc. I let myself enjoy the day and stopped when it was over. In the past I would gain at least 5 pounds every holiday and then it would continue for another week or 2 after. Victory is mine!

Today starts a new week and I really need a loss next Wednesday. It's going to be a challenge since I will be in Savannah overnight on Saturday to celebrate my best friends 40th birthday. Luckily Savannah is known for great seafood and that happens to be my favorite food on the planet. I looked at the menu for the restaurant and I already know I'm having a cold seafood platter with oysters, shrimp and lobster and a salad with pine nuts, raspberries and goat cheese. I'm hoping planning keeps me from ordering the seafood fettuccine. I'd rather save my points for the wine :)

Off to the pool again tonight for a good workout with the better instructor. Even though it's a busy week/weekend I HAVE to keep it up.

Easter Monday

Today is a public holiday in Britain and my mom said it used to be here as well. I wish that was the case today! It's horrible and rainy and windy and I really could have used another day off!!

I had a great weekend full of lots of house projects on Saturday followed by a day of relaxing on Sunday. I totally overdid it on the eating (and drinking) but I'm back on track today and not beating myself up for enjoying a holiday since this is my life now and not just a diet. If I can manage to stay the same this week I'll be happy!

Friday night was a victory for me again. The gym was closing at 6:00 so class was not happening but I got out of work early and went anyway. I managed 45 minutes on the treadmill and didn't die. It felt great and I even ran for a whole minute! It was really nice because there was hardly anyone there so I wasn't concerned who was looking at me even though I've been going to the gym long enough to know that no one gives a crap what I'm doing.

I'm trying to build up my endurance for walking and would like to add some jogging in slowly. I enjoyed running once before as a stress reliever and I think it would be good for the dogs too. When I walk with my husband I feel like he gets no exercise because I have such short legs. A fast walk for me is a casual stroll for him! If we could both jog/run we could get a lot more exercise together.

I think this post is probably as boring as this day is going to be! Hope everyone had a great Easter!

Sporty Spice

I'm rocking the Sporty Spice look today because I wore my workout clothes to work. As I was packing my bag for my butt kicking night at the gym I was thinking how ridiculous it is to have to pack my treadmill clothes and my swimming clothes and then having to change 3 times. I just wore what I will wear on the treadmill (minus the cute hoodie!) and then only have to change to swim and then again after swimming. No one around here seems to care so I guess it's okay!

My husband hit onederland last night and I'm so proud of him! We had a nice long walk with the dogs which is getting so much easier as I get stronger. I had so much energy after our walk I cooked an awesome dinner of pork tenderloin on the grill and broccolini with a ton of garlic. I watered the plants, emptied the dishwasher and finally collapsed on the sofa to watch Thursday night TV. I'm still laughing at Liz Lemon when she had the Trix up her sleeve. Absolutely hilarious.

I'm starting to feel human again instead of just a giant lump o' lard. The real me is coming back out as the pounds come off and I get stronger!

My plan for Easter involves my favorite neighbor, some champagne, chocolate covered strawberries and some egg casserole. I can easily work that in to my plan for the day. I haven't even been tempted by the candy this year but I'm sure my mom will send some cookies or something back with my sister who's going to visit them Sunday. I'm also looking forward to getting my tomato seedlings in the ground. My lettuce is coming up already and I think we may have some success with it.

Have a great weekend everyone!

How much did she lose this week?

A giant sized bag of M&M's

-1.2 pounds!

I'm thrilled to see that number since I usually gain 5 the week of my period. I'll take it!

In other good news:
• I got my 10lb. sticker. 10.4 pounds total on WW (as noted in my side bar)
• I'm 3 pounds away from my 5% goal.
• I earned 19 activity points and used none of them.
• My husband is half a pound away from onederland, wearing pants out of his skinny clothes bin, down two notches on his belt and the doc said he's younger now than he was 2 years ago.

Scary news? I lost 2 points after hitting the 10lb. mark. I haven't been using all my points anyway so hopefully it won't be too hard to adjust. I finally bought a food scale so it's much easier to control portions now.

Would I be happier with more? Yes of course but I'm following in the footsteps of my blog heroes who have done this 2 pounds a week thing successfully. It adds up and it adds up fast. The scale is going DOWN, it's not staying the same or going up. I was disappointed on the Biggest Loser last night how a 3 or 4 lb weight loss was something to be ashamed about. I know it's a TV show but they have a responsibility to their audience to at least mention that "regular people" should not expect to lose that much and that a healthy weight loss is 2lbs per week. I stopped watching it for a long time but I'm hooked again. BLERG!

Back to the pool again tonight! I'm looking forward to a good workout with the better instructor!!

Exercising enough? Check your laundry basket!

Yet another interesting observation on the road to being healthy.

This morning when I went to take a shower there seemed to be dirty clothes, wet clothes, half dry clothes and other gym stuff everywhere! We just did laundry on Sunday and here it is only Tuesday and it's taken over the house again. If you've been reading my blog a while you'll know that I'm a total neat freak and this is starting to get to me. My closet smells like the gym. Thank God my husband does most of the laundry because he's been working out just as much and I can't imagine going into the stinky boy laundry basket. I think the swimming has added a whole new level of chaos when it comes to dirty clothes.

Exercising and eating healthy take time and I accept that. I was just surprised by the extra chores I had never thought about before. Same with this post about the dishwasher. Not that I'm complaining or anything because my ass is definitely smaller :)

The scale is still up 1.5 pounds due to girly things but I think because I have been exercising so much, I haven't gained the usual 5 during this time. I hope to see it go down in time for my weigh in tomorrow or I'm just going to have to accept a once a month gain!

Last night's class was good but I burned 100 less calories than I did at Friday night's class. It's a different instructor and I had a feeling I wasn't getting as much of a workout with this guy. I wore my HR monitor for both and I was right. Not sure yet what to do about that. I pushed myself as hard as I could and I was definitely sore this morning. I just may have to add some more cardio to Mondays. Speaking of which I haven't done any yet today so that means I have to when I get home. If I could have gotten out of bed this morning it would have already been done! It's just so hard when it's cold and I'm sore blah blah blah.

Okay time to work. Hope everyone is doing great!!

Pushing Harder

Is it really Monday again already? It was a great weekend and we even got one day of sunshine! Saturday we did a ton of yard work and then went to see our neighbors play which was amazing. I didn't do any purposeful exercise but because all my muscles are sore from it I think I got a good workout and got a lot done!

3 things I did this weekend that I'm very proud of:

1. I don't usually go to my water aerobics class on Fridays because I get out of work early and end up waiting around. Now that I feel like I'm getting stronger, I decided to use that extra time to make Friday nights my "butt kicking" night. I did 30 minutes on the treadmill and then did my class for an hour and it felt SO good. I was exhausted and starving afterward but according to my heart rate monitor I burned 591 calories! I think I've said before that I used to go to happy hour on Friday night. I like waking up with a sore body instead of a sore head on Saturdays. Much more rewarding ;)

2. Sunday was massive amounts of errand running and I hadn't eaten enough breakfast. I knew I had to eat before going to the grocery store. The McDonald's drive-thru was right there and suddenly I found myself driving in. All I got was 1 plain hamburger and a water. I could have gotten 3 times that much food but I knew the points value of that little burger and it was more than enough. It just proves to me how much I'm learning through weight watchers.

3. Sunday I felt all bloated from my period and looked at myself in the mirror and felt disgusted with myself. I talked myself right out of it by remembering to think positive thoughts (yet another thing weight watchers has been teaching me) What I thought about was how it doesn't matter what I look like going to Target on a rainy Sunday morning and focused on how great I felt the night before when I got dressed up to go to the play. I put on my dark jeans with my boots and the jeans seemed way too long. Then I realized it's because they were much bigger around the waist and hanging down much lower. These are the same jeans that almost sucked the life out of me on my birthday.

I'm feeling great today. Happy to be employed. Happy that all meals are prepared/planned for the week. Happy because exercising changes my whole existence. On that note here is the workout plan for the week.

Monday: water aerobics (60 mins)
Tuesday: elliptical (30 mins) dog walk (30 mins)
Wednesday: water aerobics
Thursday: elliptical or BL Yoga (30 mins) dog walk (30 mins)
Friday (butt kicking night): treadmill (30 mins) water aerobics (60 mins)
Saturday: Dog walk (60-90 mins)
Sunday: optional dog walk

I'm hoping I'm getting in enough resistance training at least for now. Our water aerobics class is about 30 mins cardio and then 30 minutes weights and resistance. It just doesn't feel like lifting weights in the water even though I can feel it in my muscles later!

Wow this was a long post for me! I guess I had a lot to get out today. Hope everyone has a wonderful week!!

Friday thanks!

Thanks to everyone for such awesome comments on my post yesterday regarding my new financial situation. I got chills from reading the comments I was so moved!

I never thought blogging would end up being such a source of support for me. Most of us go into think no one will ever read it and then it becomes something we can't live without! Now that I won't be able to go to my WW meetings for a while I need as much support as I can get.

I've decided to approach my budgeting like Weight Watchers. Saving "points" for special things and not wasting money on crap. After I called my accountant and figured out what the difference in take home pay was it didn't seem so bad. Basically we're back to when my husband first moved here and was working part time. Our mortgage payment was higher back then so we can do this again! I'm going to try to do some freelance work and some serious budgeting and we should be fine. I'm trying to look at it as a challenge!

I'm also happy to report that while I've had a few "bad" things during this emotional roller coaster ride, I haven't sought comfort in food nearly as much and the scale is still moving down. I'm working it in to my daily points but next week I need to add some more veggies. Hopefully after all this rain MY vegetables will start to pop up!

Surprisingly, I'm feeling great. I'm happy to be at work and I'm happy everyone else is at work too. The sun is shining, my gym bag is packed for tonight and it's going to be a good weekend.

Happy Friday everyone!

I make less money now than when I woke up...

I knew it was coming sooner or later. Luckily I'm still employed but found out I'm getting a whopper of a pay cut.

I went out after my meeting and came back to find this on my computer screen

Sorry for the crap picture but these were some cute name tags my co-worker got from a Post Office promotion. It makes me feel so much better knowing that we are all staying employed even if it means making a big sacrifice.

I'm going to have to cut back on expenses A LOT. Probably having to give up my WW meetings but still do it online. I'll probably cancel satellite radio and Netflix and any other luxury items I can think of to cut. Joy. I'm so thankful I don't have kids right now because we would be in serious trouble. I feel for all the people out there that are going through this and have families to support.

Enough with the buzz kill. Onward and downward...on a budget.

How much did she lose this week?

Why it was this lovely laptop.
-2.6 pounds!

I'm thrilled about it considering my boredom binge. This just proves to me that this getting right back on track thing works and I haven't been able to do that well until Weight Watchers. The accountability to them and to y'all has really helped too!

I'm going to the pub tonight AFTER my water aerobics class to watch Scotland play and I hate that this place doesn't have their menu online. I like to be prepared these days! Oh well at least I'm going to my class first. Normally I would have skipped my class to allow more time at the pub but I'm committed to this exercise thing. I'll just go straight there with wet hair :)

I love the Jillian Michaels podcasts! I listened to almost a full one on my hour drive home last night. So much less frustrating than the news or the stupid satellite radio stations that play the same song over and over. She is very easy to listen to and she has a lot of great advice. It also gave me something to think about other than my ever growing road rage.

Last thing is Jen from Prior Fat Girl is giving away Pop Chips. These things are amazing if you haven't tried them. Trader Joes has their own brand but this brand has more varieties of flavors. I would love to win these!