I wasn't going to write about this. Mostly because I wanted to pretend it didn't happen...partly because I now know some of the people who read my blog. But maybe I need to acknowledge it. The proverbial slap-in-the face wake-up-call kinda thing.
I was in the drive thru at McDonald's yesterday. Don't worry, I was only there for a skinny latte. Then it happened. The 350+ pound woman at the window asked me when I was due. I said "what?" and she asked again if I was pregnant.
In all my years of fatness, this has never happened before. I've read numerous blogs about that particular question being the last straw for some.
I'm devastated by it and I wish I wasn't. I've been so incredibly happy and grateful this holiday season and I'm trying not to let this ruin it all. I did lose 30 pounds this year and I've been trying to talk myself into believing that's good enough but it's not. There's so much more work to be done and I'm sitting here writing after just having had a handful of m&ms I didn't need. No exercise so far today because I was out late. Eating and drinking.
All I can do is try to use this for good and motivate myself to finish what I started.
Oh Tina, how awful. That hit me in the gut just reading about it. I'm sorry - people are just filter-less, sometimes. You HAVE done a great job this year - losing 30 pounds with all of the job stress (self-employment is nerve-wracking!) is fantastic...most people would have GAINED 30 pounds! I wish I could hit the erase button and delete that comment from your memory for you. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry that happened to you. I, too, have been asked that before (when I was about forty lbs lighter than I am NOW. Yowza). Unfortunately, it wasn't the last straw and I didn't learn from it and do something about it (and here I am now...following successes like yours and hoping, hoping, hoping to be like wonderful you someday with a trail of ounces, grams, and pounds far behind me).
ReplyDeleteYou're amazing. You've come SO far! 30 lbs. is now off your frame!. I look up to you no matter what anyone else says and no matter how not-so-accomplished you feel.
I can tell you this: you're wonderful. You're on track and you're sharing this journey of yours with the world and you're inspiring people (like me) to keep going. I'm proud of you for how far you've come and I can't wait to see where you go. You're my hero...no matter what anyone else might stupidly, erroneously say in those moments of ignorance that people sometimes have.
*hugs, hugs, HUGS!*
aaaauuugghhh! Don't people just kill you? You were absolutely right to post this, Tina! As my mother used to say, "IGNORE IT!"
ReplyDeleteMy friend who was in her late 40's,
was asked if she wanted the senior discount...at 2 different stores!!!
Carry on, you're doing an amazing job!
I'm so sorry this happened to you, anytime - but particularly when you've been so able to own your amazing progress. Think of it this way...absolutely nothing has changed in your reality other than someone's mindless stupid words invading your mind. These kinds of things can play with our heads and send us into a nosedive. My advice is easier said than done...LET IT GO. Big hugs to you, and so glad you put it out there. That'll get it out of your head a lot faster.
ReplyDeleteMy first suggestion is to change your blogger name from fat girl to something like fabulously thin minded girl.. lol I am not kidding though... you have to stop thinking of yourself as "fat".... it is like accepting this is your identity... but you have that healthy in shape girl in there she is just buried under all the bad choices you have made over the years that has led to increase in adipose tissue ....aka..fat....
ReplyDeleteThat person at the drive thru is working there for a reason... I mean is that she probably has a poor impulse control of the mouth so don't mind her.. like you said in your last line " All I can do is try to use this for good and motivate myself to finish what I started."
Good luck
Teri
I'm so sorry. What on earth makes people do that I have no idea. Would it help you to know that becasue of my shape, with my crazy pot belly I was once asked that when I weighed 145 pounds? And I'm 5'6" tall so that's not very overweight!
ReplyDeleteYou've come a long way and you've dealt with a lot of crap this year. I wish your mind was a big old chalkboard so I could walk right up to you and *erase* *erase* *erase* Hugs!
Ohhh some people have babies on the brain. It happened to me once (when I was smaller than I am now!) at Target and the lady laughed it off... then told me about someone in her family who just had a baby. It was super humiliating, but I guess she was just thinking about babies (that's what I tell myself, anyhow).
ReplyDeleteRegardless of how a person looks, I think it's rude for a stranger to to 1) assume they're with child 2) comment on their physical appearance. Those are two very personal things.
Keep your chin up, lady!
Tina, this is about you and your journey. Don't let what some dumbass minimum wage monkey detract you from what you're doing. 2010 was a big transitional year for you... and a high-stress one I'm sure... but you still managed to make a big dent in your goals. Dig in and let's continue what you've started; there's no reason that you can't accomplish everything you want. Here's hoping 2011 is your year!
ReplyDeleteLike the others I am so, so sorry for that incident! That is probably one of my biggest fears, to be asked that question and I have no idea how on earth I would react if they did. You've done a great job, can't wait till I'm at 30 pounds lost! Don't let it get you down, please don't let it get to you. This has been a great year for you and next year will be even better....if you allow it to be and don't let comment like that get to you. Ignorant people!
ReplyDeleteI have to say though....the golden arches is the bain of my existance at this point! That is my solution, no more golden arches.
I know that stings girl....trust me, since I carry MOST of my weight in my stomach, I've been asked that same thing more times than I can count!!! In fact, just a couple of weeks ago, there was a couple in a grocery store. They had a child with them that was probably 2 or 3, and the lady was pregnant herself...probably 8 months along. Her toddler turned around, saw me, his eyes lit up, he pointed to my stomach and exclaimed at the top of his adorable little lungs...BABY!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteUm...yeah. About 5 surrounding shoppers glanced around to me to see my non-pregnant, fat stomach. Good times!!!! lol Shit happens sometimes....just have to let it go. And remind me to tell you about the time an old man with his 2 granddaughters stood in line behind me and called me "Miss Piggy"....ahhhhh...people suck. :)
I'm apple-shaped, look pretty pregnant, and have been waiting for the same thing to happen to me. I hope you can shake it off and forget about it!
ReplyDeleteCongrats on losing 30 pounds! That's a great accomplishment and just keep going until you feel you are where you want or need to be.
ReplyDeleteUmm, I've seen you and you don't look pregnant, at all. Like not even a little bit. Dirt of your shoulder! Need to see you soon!
ReplyDeleteHi Tina,
ReplyDeleteI'm new to your blog, and also on the weight loss journey. That has happened to me...before I started taking off the pounds. I couldn't believe it...I was in denial.
Let me tell you that loosing those 30 pounds took a lot of hard work, and you should be proud of that. You just have to take it one day at a time!
Kelli
http://sobeit89.squarespace.com
Oh no! I hope you can shake it off and focus on the progress you have made.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on all your success so far! Don't pay attention to such moronic comments!
ReplyDeleteGood luck, you can do it :)
Ana
I have a theory on this. My personal trainer had the same thing happen to her last month. Yes, my PERSONAL TRAINER. I think comments like this have very little to do with the size of a person or her tummy. I think it's a way that people with no self-esteem can pour a little hate on other people. Just a theory, but it is picking up some steam. Keep your chin up and I love your blog!
ReplyDeleteLinda Goff
http://blog.thywillpower.com/
this has happened to me a few times in my life...the worst was when I was still a teenager. now, I just fool myself into thinking that they must just think I'm a skinny pretty girl with a bun in the oven and not just a chick that needs to do more sit-ups! some people just do not have a filter!!!
ReplyDelete