Thursday, August 13, 2009

The waiting is the hardest part

I have been terrible about blogging the past week or so and it's probably because I've been eating terribly and not exercising. I haven't been shoving food in my face or anything but more like only eating once a day and not being prepared etc. The only time I've been to the gym is to change clothes after my interview :)

I can't focus to save my life. I know I'm not supposed to hear about any next steps on the interview until next week but it's all I can think about. Part of me feels so good about it and if I were truly practicing 'the Secret' I would be packing up my office. The other part of me has fat girl worries that I just don't fit in with all the Divas and the tall, hot, skinny girls wandering the halls. I'm hoping my talent and my personality will prevail. Don't get me wrong, I looked GREAT for the interview (if I do say so myself!) but this is a very different industry and I have no idea if that will be a factor.

No matter what happens, I don't want to feel this way about myself anymore. It's almost been a year since I started blogging. My profile says I'm trying to lose 100 pounds before my 40th birthday. That is now only 3 months away. If I get this job, it will change my life and give me the time and the location to exercise every day. If I don't, I'm going to have to try that much harder.

Okay, now I feel better after getting all that out. I'm saying my prayers daily, not just that I get the job, but that whatever is meant to be for me is what happens. If it's not too hot to breathe, I'm going to take a nice long, head clearing walk after work and try to slap myself back to reality.


  1. I often find it so hard to focus when other things are happening, like you said. I get caught up in what might happen!!

    I'd just encourage you to keep trying to make good choices in the intermin.

    I sincerely hope you get that job!!

  2. Well, if the interviewer has any common sense, you will be the candidate of choice. One can tell, just by reading your blog, that you are a loyal and dedicated employee with a great deal of talent to offer. I'll continue to keep good thoughts wafting thru the airways to you.

    Focus is not my strong suit, so I can't offer any insight in that regard. I have the attention span of a gnat.

  3. Hang in there... stay busy. I have my fingers and toes crossed for you. And I can't wait to hear either.

  4. Sending positive vibes your way - hang in there...I know it's so hard to be patient when you want something so bad!

  5. This posts reminds me of my favorite part of Dr. Seuss' book "Oh The Places You Will Go". Waiting is difficult but lots of good can happen in the "mean time" My fingers are crossed for you. I worked in Corporate Communications for a long time so I know what you mean about image in that communications/advertising/pr industry.

    I so hear you on the not being totally on plan, but the good thing is we don't have to be perfect to be getting healthier.

    Thanks for the tips on the Farmer's Market. I keep meaning to go but I went once when I was younger and it was super duper overwhelming.... Maybe I'll give it another go again. Is there a better day/time to go?

  6. Try to relax and clear your mind...let God do the worrying for's in His very capable hands now. I totally feel ya' on the no focus thing. I'm moving in 2 weeks and my mind is on everything EXCEPT the calorie counting. It's going to show on my weigh-in tomorrow morning. The best we can do is hold the reigns in as tight as possible until things settle down again. :)

  7. Thank you so much for stopping by my blog! The amount of encouragement I have gotten so far from people like yourself is amazing! Good luck getting the job you're going after; hopefully after you know one way or another you will be able to refocus.

    I don't know you from a hole in the ground, but if I may make a suggestion... maybe it's time to reassess your weight loss goal date. I am NOT trying to be negative, but losing 80 pounds in three months sounds like something that would be adding stress to your life at this point, not something to look forward to. Please, if I'm overstepping know that I don't mean offense, but if you are anything like me (and who knows if you are, but all I've got are my own experiences to draw from) than that goal is likely in the back of your mind almost all day long, taunting you and keeping you from doing any serious work towards the weight loss.

    Honestly, how can anyone live up to that unless they're standed on a desert island. I know the goal was set some time ago and was realistic at that point, but give yourself a break. Just reassess. Add another six months or so onto the original deadline and let yourself revel in the progress you have made so that you can get back to making more rather than stressing about something that no one I know could ever achieve.

    Anyhow, I've said a lot for someone who doesn't know you, but I really hope you can tell that it is coming from a place of genuine caring and compassion. I really wish you well!

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