whew, Friday!

It seems like every week just gets crazier and crazier and I really look forward to the weekends even more. Sometimes I fear the weekend for falling out of my routine but now that I have Weight Watchers, I feel like I can fit some things in. It's a feeling of freedom with food that I haven't had for a long time. I know that freedom can be dangerous but if I just keep logging everything I eat I will be okay. I made room for some light cheese puffs and a 100 calorie dark chocolate bar for tonight. I even squeezed in a skinny vanilla latte because I was starving today and craving something sweet. That usually helps with both. My cravings are coming purely from PMS and the scale is going down a few ounces a day so I'm not going to ruin it.

It's raining now and it's supposed to rain all weekend so I'm thinking about getting some horrible chores done like washing blinds and curtains and cleaning the basement. *shudder* That way when I can go back outside again all the spring cleaning will be done. We're even supposed to have a little snow on Sunday. Poor daffodils. I hope they survive! My little veggie and herb seeds are sprouting in my seed starter and I can't wait to be able to plant them. I'm photographing everything for one big blog post when it finally looks like something!

Have a great weekend everyone. Anyone who reads this knows I try not to go near the computer on the weekend but since I now have to log my points you never know. I might be inspired to write!

Diving back in - again!

I finally made it back to my water aerobics class after a months absence. It's just been too cold to be in the water but it seems to be warming up enough so that it's bearable. As usual, all my friends were happy to see me which is a great reason to keep going.

It was my favorite instructor who really explains what you're supposed to be feeling and I made a point to push myself extra hard. I'm really sore today but in a good way of course! I wore my heart rate monitor and I got it up just as high as if I was on the elliptical. I need to figure out how the calories burned works out in the water. Apparently it's a bit different.

My husband was so excited he made a great dinner last night since I don't get home until 8 from my class. He's perfected our turkey pasta sauce and I had a double portion after the huge workout. Trader Joes has their whole wheat pasta with flax now for 49¢ and we eat that at least once a week. 6 grams of fiber in a serving of that and it's delicious. He even made a double batch of sauce so we can freeze it for next week. He even asked me to teach him more meals so that he can have dinner ready when I get home. How sweet is that? I'm so lucky for all the support I have from him. He's been strutting his stuff around the house because he's lost 11 pounds! More importantly I taught him to do his BMI on the scale and he's down 1% in just a week or so. I feel proud when I feed us well and apparently he does too. It's working well for both of us.

Better get my (sore) butt in gear for a busy day!

How much did she lose this week?

A 10oz. Maltese puppy!

My very sweet and supportive co-worker (I may have mentioned I need to lose a whole her) has decided she's going to find something each week that weighs what I lost. I think it's a very fun way to keep track of my progress.

SO, not a banner loss but I'll take it. My Tanita says my water weight is up and I think It's just plain ol' PMS. I probably owe it also to the bottle of white star champagne, the 2 bottles of red wine and the 2 beers I had over the weekend. I don't usually drink that much (if at all) but my friend was in town and that's just the way it is. Just a little reminder that alcohol has calories too.

I liked my 2nd meeting and will continue to go. The leader tries to get everyone to interact and people have some really good, practical ideas.

I'm proud of myself for several things this week. (this week being my Wednesday to Wednesday week of WW = easy to remember!) I logged everything I put into my mouth and I exercised to relieve stress.

Last night I was a big ball of rage again. We lost our favorite and 2nd biggest client. They are trying to get what we do for cheaper. I'm sure it's out there but I can promise you that they are going to miss the passion I had for that work. I thought about it on the weekend. I worked on my vacation days etc. because I believed in it. I really felt like I was making a difference and helping their brand grow. Now it's gone and I don't know what to do with myself! I'm worried about our future as a company and I really hope we can find something to replace it. I also hope I can find something that will give me as much of a sense of pride as that did. I was SO angry and hurt but instead of drowning my sorrows in a pizza on the sofa, I did my BL Yoga DVD (still awesome) and made the Tilapia and veggies on the grill as planned. I asked myself if eating the pizza and lounging around was really going to make me feel better and the answer was no. If the answer had been yes I would have done it but I was really honest with myself about what I needed. I guess that answer was Bob :)

I'm off to start another successful week. Thanks everyone for all of your support and sweet comments as always!

'twas the day before weigh in

Tomorrow is my first Weight Watchers weigh in since my first meeting and I'm really feeling motivated by the fact that someone will be checking up on me :) I've had a peek at the scale and only seem to be down a pound but that was after going a little overboard on the weekend. I drank a lot more than I should have but that's not something I do often. I'll be happy with a pound lost but 2 would be even better. We're having fish and veggies for dinner and I plan on doing my BL Yoga DVD tonight and a session on the elliptical in the morning. If anything I'll sweat it off!

I will see y'all tomorrow with the results! Have a great week everyone!

I don't know what came over me

but when I got home last night I WANTED to do my Biggest Loser Yoga DVD. I was full of energy from eating well all week. Hmmm. Go figure! :)

I'm loving WW so far. The weekly points allowance takes away some of the guilt of eating a treat and it's really making me aware of choices portion sizes. Last night we got takeout from the rotisserie chicken place and I calculated everything before I ordered. I had a 1/4 chicken (white meat no skin) instead of the half I usually have. I had an awesome sweet potato WITH butter and a huge pile of lima beans that were so good I went searching for the stragglers underneath my sweet potato. I even made room in my day for one serving of chocolate covered pretzels (thankfully those are out of the house now!) I feel satisfied and in no way deprived.

Tonight my best friend is spending the night. She lives in Savannah but comes to Atlanta for work often. She usually stays at least one night and takes us out for dinner. Tonight I decided I'm not quite ready to go out for a big dinner so we're going to order pizza. Normally, I wouldn't care about what I put in my mouth when it's the weekend and we have a visitor. Instead we are going to order from a place that has really thin crust and I'm making a giant salad to go along with it. I'm budgeting for 2 slices and salad. Oh and a couple glasses of wine. This just feels do-able to me.

I've also realized I've been taking better care of my appearance all of a sudden. People have been commenting on my hair because I've taken the extra 5 minutes to blow it dry instead of throwing it up in a wet ponytail.

Yes, I'm in the honeymoon phase with this plan and I'm sure it will get more challenging but you know, I've been in the honeymoon phase with my husband for over 4 years and that just keeps getting better ;)

My first meeting

Thanks for all the well wishes for my first Weight Watchers meeting! It went really well! Thanks to all the reading I've done about it through other blogs, I wasn't even that nervous. I really liked the leader and I think the program will be really good for me. It's just about the only thing I haven't tried. I weighed in at 259.2 pounds with clothes on so I've maintained my loss from the past month which really is amazing considering how I've been eating. That's all done now and I'm armed with my commitment to the meetings and my e-tools on the WW site.

I have 4 weeks until I go to Chicago (OPRAH!!) and I would like to have lost 10 lbs. by then. 13 is my first WW goal which is 5% of my weight.The email I got from the show said to wear something colorful. I would probably feel more comfortable doing that 10 pounds from now. I'll have to buy my outfit at the last minute! From that I will have to figure out my my next goal for our trip to Scotland in June. I'm sure I'll be feeling even better by then!

Now I should probably log some points and get some work done!

I feel like I won the lottery

I'm going to see the Oprah show in March! A friend of mine works for her and got me tickets. SO not only do I get to see the queen herself, I get to see my friend and spend a lovely weekend in Chicago. I'd better lose some weight fast in case I'm on TV :)

In other news, today is my first ever Weight Watchers meeting and I'll admit, I wore light weight clothes today. I'm sure a lot of it will be stuff I already know but more education can never hurt. I think I need the support right now because other than my weight, I'm really happy. I put on the most weight when I'm happy. How insane is that?

I've been doing well with my eating this week except for an encounter with some dark chocolate pretzels. I'm logging the points though and still well under!

yoga for losers and sandwich happiness

So I ordered the new Biggest Loser Yoga for Weight Loss DVD and it arrived yesterday. I thought it would be nice and relaxing to do when I got home from work to wind down. Let me tell you, this workout kicked my ass!

First of all, Bob is awesome and normal and not all cheesy like some of the DVD's I've had in the past. The DVD is set up for easy progress. You do a 35 minute workout for the first week or 2 and then add to it the following weeks.

I managed to get through the whole thing except for the planks and some of the second sets of the poses. I was sweating head to toe and every single muscle is singing today although I'm not as sore as I thought I would be. It says you should do it 5-6 times a week for best results which is a lot of time, especially if you plan on adding more cardio and strength training. I plan on sticking to it for a while since it made my body feel great.

The reason I love yoga so much is I'm flexible by nature (except for my gut being in the way right now) and I feel like I see progress very quickly which is very motivating to me. I totally recommend this DVD. I think it was $20 with shipping and came in a few days.


On a sandwich note, if you can find these you have got to try them. They are called Arnold Sandwich Thins and they are only 100 calories, 1 gram of fat and 4 grams of fiber. They are whole wheat and have no high fructose corn syrup. It's basically a really thin, whole grain bun. I have one for lunch today that I grilled on the George Foreman with some ham and cheese and spinach for a yummy low-cal, high fiber panini. I really love a good sandwich and this will be so nice for a change.



The motivation switch has been flipped again and I feel really good. I'm going to my first ever Weight Watchers meeting tomorrow and I'm a little nervous but I always am my first time doing things. I signed up for a monthly pass that comes with the e-tools so I'll be tracking my food there from now on. I'm ready to give it a shot.

Hope everyone is having a great week!

New stuff at Trader Joe's - 2nd post of the day (that's how important it is!)

I just went to Trader Joe's at lunch and they have a ton of new things out. I'm in Atlanta and not sure if it's exactly the same everywhere but it might be helpful for some!

Here's what I found:

Quick Cook Steel Cut Oats - it says they've perfected a process leaving the grain intact and are as healthful as the long cook variety. $2.99 24oz. canister

Chickenless Pulled "chicken" in BBQ Sauce. 2 grams of fat and 17 grams of protein! $3.49 16oz tub.

Mangolicious - fresh-frozen mangoes, raspberries and blueberries. I feel a smoothie coming on! $2.69 16oz

Reduced Fat Fish Sticks - not my thing but great if you have kids. $4.99 24 fish sticks

Organic Kiwi Fruit - $2.49 lb.

Shredded Lite Mozzarella - 50% less fat and 40% less calories. $3.99 12oz pouch

Just a Handful Raw Unsalted Almonds - packed in 13 small "handful size" bags. Only 50¢ more than a regular pound bag @ $4.99

Sun Dried Tomato and Basil Chicken Tenders - pre-marinated for cooking any way you like. I can see this in a salad with some fresh mozz. $4.49 pound

100% Whole Wheat Tuscan Pane - no preservatives or conditioners $2.79 26oz loaf

Marinated Wild White Salmon Fillets - this is dinner tonight! $7.99 pound

Crunchy Valencia Peanut Butter with Flaxseeds - bought it and can't wait to try it! $2.99 6oz. jar

There were a lot of healthier options than there have been recently so I wanted to share with anyone who worships Trader Joe as much as I do :)

Newly motivated

I feel about a million times better after some good fresh air and sunshine yesterday. I always forget that January is my worst month of the year and that I need not beat myself up about it. I've felt more alive since the daffodils started blooming and before long, it will be light outside when I get home from work.

Valentines day was so fun. We went for Indian food and then to Dairy Queen. I figured since I had a whole day of yard work planned for Sunday I could afford it. Other couples we saw out didn't seem to be having nearly as much fun as us. There were several people who were nasty to the sweet Indian waiter who was just doing his best on a busy Valentines day Saturday night. What do people expect when they are out on the busiest night of the year for restaurants? I don't understand why they even bother going out if they are miserable. Oh well, it gave me much needed motivation to not be such a whiner :)

I'm considering joining Weight Watchers again but this time trying the meeting and the online tools instead of just the online part. It seems the the people who have the most success are people that go to to the meetings. I also think I need some more accountability for my weigh ins. On the other hand, part of me thinks that logging food at Spark People is just as good and it's free.

Thoughts anyone?

In the mean time I'm going to log my food here while I figure it out.
Breakfast: 0% Greek yogurt with a handful of berries
Lunch: Homemade chili with extra veggies.
Dinner: Mahi and Soycotash
Dessert: Jello SF pudding
Snacks: Lowfat cheese stick, Fiber One bar

A love story for Valentines Day

Almost 6 years ago (and many pounds ago) I was newly dumped by my live in boyfriend and starting over. I was feeling pretty good about myself physically and even did my first 3-Day 2 weeks later. I had a new puppy, a new place and a new job. But I was so empty. I had loved several people up to this point but no-one ever returned the love that was given.

My boss was crazy. Literally. I had to take a Xanax in my car at lunch a few times a week. She was just never satisfied. She even made me put a box to check off next to each thing on my to-do list. I'm a crosser-offer, not a checker. But I did what I was told. Finally we hired a copywriter who not only made the office bearable, but changed my entire life.

Copywriter was from Scotland and one day we got to talking about music etc. and he said "you know, I have a friend who's recently divorced and he's coming to visit in a few months. I should introduce you. You two are so much alike." Later on that day an email came through titled 'Intro-duc-shun'

This guy was amazing. We sent emails back and forth for a few days. Then started on the instant message which then progressed to phone calls. I was starting to realize I was crazy about this guy I had never even met in person. Sure we exchanged pictures. I had even sent one of what I look like on a Saturday just so he wouldn't get the idea I was always gorgeous :) I think we were both feeling like there was something between us but neither one of us could fathom that. One day he just said it and after a moments silence I finally said "I feel the same".

There were still a couple months to go before he was going to come to visit until one day crazy biatch boss scheduled a meeting with me stating that there was no need to prepare anything. I knew I was getting fired. And I was THRILLED.

There I was 34 years old, single and unemployed. I knew this was a huge turning point in my life and if I didn't find out if this long distance romance? was real then there was no way I could start a new job. So, a few hours later, I had a pint of ice cream and a buddy pass on Delta for a flight to Manchester.

I called sweet Scottish guy right when I got home and told him I was unemployed. He said he was sorry and I said "I'm not because I'm coming to Scotland".

Sure I was slightly nervous and of course I had a backup plan. I probably would have never been brave enough to do that if my friend at work hadn't known his whole family etc. At least it wasn't some random guy from a chat room I was meeting 5,000 miles from home. I had never even been out of the country.

I ended up not getting on the flight to Manchester but I got one to London. I figured as long as I was on his continent, we could get to each other. I called him from the airport in London and told him to meet me in the train station in Edinburgh 5 hours later. I still wasn't really nervous. I just felt like it was meant to be.

As my train finally made the painstakingly slow stop in Edinburgh, I saw him. He was right there at the door where my car stopped. Like he knew where I was in the train. In the most romantic train station, in the most romantic city, in a country I've never been to.

The doors opened and that was it for both of us. We knew after our first kiss that we would be together forever. We were engaged 3 days later, "commuted" for a year and a half, and were married 4 years ago in North Carolina. The logistics of importing a husband are a little crazy but totally worth it :)

I have never loved anyone so much or been so loved. I'm still sad on Monday's when we have to leave each other to go to work. Thinking about the hard times when we were apart still makes my stomach hurt. I'm the luckiest girl in the world and I'm so glad I waited for the one.

Happy Valenties day everyone!

Throw those curtains wide

That is a line from my new favorite song by a band called Elbow. The best album that has come out in the last 5 years in my opinion!

I've been singing that all morning trying to figure out how on earth I'm going to make myself be a 5am workout person. I know it probably becomes a habit after a while but I have never in my life been a morning person. I can barely open my eyes much less think about exercising. I WANT to be a morning person. I go to bed no later than 10 so I really have no excuse...except for the fact that I love sleep. I feel so great for the whole day after which should be motivation enough.

It's been a little easier since it's been just that much lighter outside and not so freezing cold. I actually beat the sunset coming home last night. It was the first day I've arrived home in daylight since the clocks went back and it was glorious. I can't wait for it to be light enough for me to participate in the evening dog walk. My husband gets home 2 hours before me and walks them every night without me in the winter.

I'm so happy another weekend is almost here. We have no obligations other than hanging out with each other and a dog birthday party on Sunday. I'm making some doggie appetizers (yeah I'm a dork but whatever) which I should really do more often since it's about the only thing I'm not tempted to eat...although there once was an an incident where both my husband and I thought a peanut butter dog biscuit looked and smelled delicious!

Good Stuff

Man all I needed was some laughing gas for a little attitude adjustment! I went to the dentist this morning after not going for about 3 years. I hate the dentist. I had a perverted orthodontist and didn't realize it until I was much older, then I had a horrible experience with my wisdom tooth surgery. This one was a breeze. I had to have a serious cleaning (hence the laughing gas) but no cavities or any other bad stuff. I'm not ever leaving it that long again.

Thanks to everyone for sweet comments and suggestions about my stress. I'm trying to be aware of it and do things differently when I feel overwhelmed. Only I have control over my attitude. It's up to me whether it's good or bad!

Anger management

I have been a big fat ball of rage since yesterday afternoon. I think I may have even had a mini breakdown. Work is driving me crazy and I worked way too late. Then someone hit my brand new car in the Trader Joes parking lot without leaving a note (if any of you tennis skirt wearing Sandy Springs biatches are reading this I know it was one of you) I just cried the whole way home. Then one of the dogs jumped up and scratched me all the way across the face as a welcome home.

My husband thinks I'm being way to hard on myself but how am I supposed to work a 50 hour week, drive an hour each way, make 3 meals a day and keep a clean house? This is why the exercise suffers. How you people with kids do this I will never know!!

I need to find some balance. I feel like I've been over and over it in my head a million times. Get up earlier, do chores during the week, work out in the morning, work out at lunch, work out at night. I'm just constantly trying to figure it out. In the mean time I just get busier and busier. I thought about cutting out TV watching but am I really prepared to take away the one thing I get to do in a day I enjoy? That's my precious 2 hours per day with my husband and we eat during that time as well.

What's a modern girl to do?

If I had time I'd do some anger management yoga.

Parties and power tools

It's so hard to be back to work after a great weekend. The weather was gorgeous, I threw a kick-ass dinner party on Saturday night, then got up on Sunday morning and built and equally kick-ass raised planting bed. Talk about the modern woman I tell ya :)

On my way to the hellish suburbs today I was thinking how I really do have it all. Aside from a little family drama going on right now, my life is so awesome. I have the best husband in the world who I could not have done any of the weekends activities without. I have the greatest house, dogs, neighbors, friends etc. I have my health. But I'm still so freakin' fat! If I could just beat this I really feel like I would have it all.

Obviously I have the drive and the energy to do so much but I'm carrying around this extra 'friend' (more on that in a minute) and it's really getting in the way. I'm tired of lugging her up and down the stairs. I can't even sit comfortably in my one pair of jeans that fit and enjoy the company of my friends after dinner. I couldn't wait to go put my pajamas on.

Back to the extra 'friend' thing. I have the skinniest friends on the planet. I would say I have 4 best friends. 3 of the 4 of them weigh under 100 pounds. When I'm around them (especially in the car) I feel like I'm the size of an elephant. I'm struggling to get the seat belt on and one of them is disappearing into the seat. I can't imagine what it must be like to have that much room in front of me in the car. I mentioned it to my husband this weekend and he thinks it's weird too. Don't we fatties usually surround ourselves with people that make us feel small?

So I have to lose the equivalent of one of these friends in weight. I can't carry her up the stairs anymore and I can't drive with her in my lap, much less bend over. I'm so tired and frustrated with her but I continue to feed her. Every Monday I swear "it's going to be different this week". I do well for a few days and am eating crap for lunch in my car by the end of the week.

I feel renewed after a good weekend of great weather and things accomplished. I've shaken my feeling of failure this winter off a little and my body is craving healthy food again. Hopefully my planting bed will yield some yummy things. I promise I will post pictures when I plant it. It doesn't look all that exciting right now!

Blah Blob Blog

Well I'm not as blah anymore since that title just made me think of Bob Loblaw on Arrested Development. Hilarious!

I have been SO off track this week. It's been as cold as I can ever remember it being in the ATL. Even my Scottish husband is freezing. The dogs don't even want to go out! It's supposed to be nice this weekend and I think that's just what I need to get back on track. Some fresh air and sunshine usually makes me want to exercise.

I had to lay off an employee yesterday which is the suckiest thing in the world for a non-confrontational person like me. My stomach hurt as much as it would if I was the one getting laid off. I just hope things start to change soon. It seems to get worse everyday. My company is not in jeopardy but we're having to trim up a little just to stay flat for now and hopefully wait this out. My heart goes out to everyone who is losing their jobs. Especially those who are innocent victims of corporate greed.

I have a weekend of debauchery ahead with 2 big dinners so I must get some energy back to exercise. I've missed it this week and now we're planning a trip to Scotland in May so I must get some of this weight off before we go. Not only to look better but to be able to walk around as much as we do. Last time I thought I was going to have a heart attack.

On a happy note to end this post, I'm going to take advantage of the weekend of good weather ahead and start to build my raised planting beds. I would really like to be able to grow my own salad ingredients now that I own a house with a big yard. I've never been good at growing things but I think if I do enough research into the preparation of the soil etc, I can do it!


Hope everyone is having a good week!

Thank God it's Monday?

I never thought I'd be happy for Monday but some weeks it's nice to be back in the comfort of a schedule.

My best friend came to stay this weekend and we ate and drank and ate some more. Then I went to my moms on Sunday and ate some more. Then it was Superbowl time (well Puppy Bowl at first) and we ate some more. My poor husband gained 4 pounds over the weekend and I didn't bother weighing.

Oh well. At least the fridge is stocked and meals are planned and prepped again for the whole week. I do so much better when I don't stray from my routine. Aside from a dinner party at our house on Saturday, not much else is going on for a while so I'm going to re-focus!

One more thing...does anyone out there in Blogland use a bread machine? I borrowed my moms to see if I like it and I know there are some tricks to having it turn out well. I'm wanting to try some good healthy breads and I've never used one.

Here's to a healthy, active week. Lord knows I need it!