Tuesday, August 25, 2009

bummer

Yesterday I stayed home from work with the remains of some seriously annoying lower back pain and It's a good thing I did because a rejection email came yesterday from the job I've been waiting to hear about. I am seriously bummed.

I know why I didn't get the job. It's not something that's easy for me to talk about but it's time to admit it. I can have the best portfolio and personality out there but it's not going to change the fact that I'm a short, fat girl applying for an executive level job in the fashion industry. I should have know during the interview when I asked about the culture and was given the speech about the Divas and the designer clothes. The recruiter talked about it as if she was surprised herself since it was kids clothing but nonetheless, I saw those types wandering the halls and maybe even a snicker or two in my direction that I refused to believe at the time.

I was saying to my husband that unfortunately, people face the issue of prejudice every day. For most, it's something they cannot change like the color of their skin or their sexual orientation or a disability. Mine is something I CAN change and I'm ashamed of myself for doing it once and letting myself go again. I accomplished so much more in my size 10 jeans than in my 22's.

If anything, this has served as a big fat slap in the big fat arse. I had a little hissy-fit in my closet this morning and threw my nicely hung up waiting for second interview giant-sized black pants on the floor way behind the skinny clothes bins. Then I packed my gym bag for the first time in 2 weeks. It's the only plan 'b' I can think of.

22 comments:

  1. I know exactly what that's like, Tina. I had an interview once with a former Miss America contestant who owned her own agency; thankfully, it was right after I had lost a ton of weight. I know for a fact that she wouldn't have hired me if she'd interviewed me six months earlier. I saw it happen to many times over the next couple of years with her. It is discrimination and it's not fair. But it's the way the world works, I suppose.

    Use that anger to fuel your workouts and your drive to succeed on this journey. You can do something about this. It's definitely in you...

    I am sorry about the rejection, but everything happens for a reason.

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  2. I feel like most of us have probably felt this same rejection. It's pathetic that employers would rather hire someone less qualified just because of an image. I'm sorry you're having to deal with it, but at least it looks like you're dealing with it in a responsible way. Don't let this keep you down...you know you're worth it.

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  3. I'm sorry, Tina. It is a sad, true fact that in interviews, your appearance counts for more than it should...and in all honestly looking back, I can admit that my size was why I didn't get offered some jobs that I had second and third interviews...I pretended it wasn't a factor back then, but deep down I knew it was.

    Good on ya for packing your gym bag - that is such a healthy, grown up way to deal with this (after the hissy fit, of course...I would have pitched the new shoes as well!). Hugs to you, Tina.

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  4. It is true. When I struggled with my weight as a morbidly obese woman I felt the discrimination, not only in the "work world" but also even from sales clerks, etc.

    I hope that you get the kind of job you want soon - at a place that respects you for you!

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  5. Oh Tina, I'm so sorry to hear your news. You're doing yourself a big favor tho by channeling that anger and disappointment into something productive and good for you.

    It's a shame that the world revolves so much around superficial things but we're all touched by it at one time or another. You'll recover from this stronger than before - I just know it.

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  6. I am so sorry you didn't get the job and that you suspect you were discriminated agaist because of your size. One of my reasons for losing the weight is to help in my quest for a new job when this one ends. It is much harder to find good work as a larger person than as a smaller one, I agree.

    Well done for taking off to the gym - good move!

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  7. Tina, I'm so sorry to hear you didn't get the job. I do agree with Jack that everything happens for a reason, even if that's cold comfort in the thick of disappointment!

    I LOVE that you packed your gym bag in response. The fact is things ARE tougher on fat people in the job market. And another fact is that you've wanted to do something about your weight for a long time, anyways. Let this be motivation for you, let it fuel your fire and help you succeed. Good luck!

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  8. It's sad but it's true. It's the one form of discrimination that's not only condoned, but encouraged!

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  9. I'm so sorry! Get angry and take out your anger at the gym. I'm looking forward to reading a blog entry in the future that talks about how your NEW company (with you in charge) has kicked that other sorry company's butt!

    And PS, you are absoutely right. Companies can and do discriminate. I had a boss who told me he wouldn't hire fat people (and I worked in HR at the time!!!). When I pointed out that that was discrimination, he said "Being fat isn't a protected class." Yikes!

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  10. Sorry you didn't get the job, but I think your 'plan b' sounds like a great one! Something better will come along soon and then you'll be thrilled that this didn't work out.

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  11. So very sorry, Tina. It is a very sad commentary on our society that discriminating against plus sized people is still acceptable. Yes, we can so something about it, but that still doesn't change the fact that people find it perfect ok to laugh, point, and make crude remarks. Even tho' this may have been your dream job....for now...I'm sure something else will be coming your way very soon. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again.

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  12. I know exactly how you feel. I know for a fact that I have been passed over for promotions because I am overweight and I don't work anywhere near the fashion industry. I feel your pain. Good for you to go to the gym. I would have devoured a pizza by now.

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  13. Aww. I'm sorry to hear you didn't get the job. There's all sorts of science that says overweight people get fewer promotions and earn less money than their skinny counterparts. It's not fair, it sucks, but I guess this might be one of those "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em" things. Keep plugging away, and soon you'll be in those size 10s, and won't ever feel passed over because of your size.

    And when you've got the position of power, you can be sure not to keep the circle of discrimination going.

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  14. I am so sorry, Tina. That just sucks!

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  15. "I accomplished so much more in my size 10 jeans than in my size 22's"....I believe you. Weight plays a huge role in how we're treated in the workplace. I know ALL about it.

    Grabbing that gym bag is exactly what I would have done afterwards too...love the plan B (after, of course, I cried so hard my eyes were nearly swollen shut). :)

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  16. I'm so sorry about the Job... but do you really want to work for someone that judges and discriminates like that? I hope you find one soon

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  17. *hugs*

    Even though you're probably right, it doesn't help calm down the sting at all, I'm sure. Use your anger to fuel you forward - it does help.

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  18. I'm so sorry... I hope you can turn some of the bad in this situation into something good.

    thinking of you.

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  19. I just found your blog. So sorry about the job...that stinks. I've always thought that fashion designers are losing out on millions of $$ because they don't design for plus size. (or just use their designs and have them run up to at least a 24). Something better will come along!

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  20. Sorry to read about the...rejection letter. Not the nicest way to get back into the gym. Good work for taking this chance to reconnect with your workouts!

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  21. This breaks my heart, Tina. It's a shame that people look at us and thing we're second class citizens or less than. You're beautiful, brilliant and if they can't see that, fuck 'em! Bastards!

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  22. I just found your blog - I'm sorry to hear about your job/interview. I am currently unemployed and looking, I don't like to think about opportunities gone sour because of my appearance. A close family member actually said to me once "I'm afraid you won't get a job because of your size", and that was BEFORE I gained 30ish more pounds! Yikes.

    Good luck, keep your head up! I'm rooting for you! Your blog is great :-)

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