NEWS FLASH - 2nd post of the day!!

I have a job interview on Friday at 11am.
Lets get those good thoughts, prayers, juju, vibes started now shall we?? :) Unfortunately it's up here in the burbs. blech. Maybe if I don't work for a jerk, the commute won't be as bad.

It's one of the top 75 companies to work for in Atlanta and it's small so that adds a level of comfort for me. Because it's small, I'm meeting directly with the president and avoiding the whole HR thing altogether. sweet.

This job is exactly what I do now so the interview will much easier than the last one. I know the industry so well which makes answering questions less nerve wrecking. I have my outfit and the portfolio will only take a little tweaking but I need to figure out what to do about changing clothes. Last interview I changed at my gym but that is nowhere near this interview. Fortunately there's only one other person in the office that day and she isn't the brightest. Creative people don't normally dress up for interviews but they certainly do more than workout clothes or jeans and flip flops like I normally wear to work.

This good news comes on a day where I have $11.14 in my checking account. The $2000 a month paycut has taken its toll and I'm ready to move on!!

This all went down right before I went on my lunch walk. I RAN part of the way I was so pumped up. Now, I'm even more sore but feeling great!!

ow ow ow ow ow

That is the noise I make walking today after rediscovering squats yesterday.

I'm breaking up with the Biggest Loser. That show last night was so awful I turned it off and only watched the weigh in. I'm not going to go on about it but it is SO not helpful. Have an injury? Here eat this Yoplait Yogurt. Need a quick lunch? Use a Ziplock bag (never mind what's in it). There was absolutely no focus on exercise or nutrition or anything. Just a bunch of swearing, bullying, whining, crying and bitching. It was barely even about weight loss at the weigh in!

I was having some anxiety issues last night and that didn't help at all! My anxiety attacks come at random and not very often so I took a xanax before bed and am just now coming back to life. I got up this morning, got on the elliptical, realized my ipod wasn't working and my legs were so sore that I couldn't even get it started. Don't worry though, I haven't given up on todays workout. I googled how to fix my ipod, left my workout clothes on and am going for another big walk at lunch. It's much cooler than it was last week when I did that so hopefully I won't feel as much like I'm going to die this time.

I feel like Peter Griffin this morning as I'm in a "you know what really grinds my gears" mood so I'm going to stop now ;) Have a great day everyone!!

Autumn in Atlanta

Well after torrential rains and flooding we finally have our first taste of fall here. I feel like the fresh cool air cleans out my head. I think the wind that brought in a cold front yesterday literally blew out all the cobwebs.

A special shout out today to Shelley. Your comment yesterday helped me get out of bed today and exercise. I sometimes think it's weird that I feel accountable to a group of people I don't know but hey, whatever works! Thanks again to everyone who supports me every day. I feel like I know myself so much better for sharing my story and it's really helping me tackle the issues behind my weight problem.

This morning at 5:45 I was putting my shoes on to go on the elliptical and stepped outside for a minute. Once I felt how cool it was outside I decided to go on the dog walk with the husband instead. We had a good 30 minute walk and only allowed 5 minutes of that to be "sniffing around time." The rest of the time we dragged the dogs as fast as we could and got a really good workout in. When I came home I had a cup of coffee and then did a 15 minute workout on the ball. Now I have jiggly legs from squats and wogging and it feels great. I need to not be such a creature of habit and allow myself to mix up my exercise and do what I feel like doing.

I've set a new goal for myself which I haven't done for a while. I'm going to lose 10 more pounds by halloween. I have a trip to Savannah and an anniversary in there so it's going to be a challenge but I'm ready to excavate the 2nd layer of the skinny clothes bin and find some fun things to wear for fall.

Hope everyone is having a great week!

two arms and one leg

A funny thing happened on the way to work today. Besides having some crazy road rage freak get out of his car and come after me, I discovered I can use the other armrest in my car! I have a CR-V and both front seats have armrests. The passenger one is always down but the driver seat one is up to accommodate my extra width. Today I slid it down and had plenty of room. So there road rage freak. You didn't ruin my day!

This got me thinking about how I really don't see myself being as large as I am. Maybe it's just my brains way of making me feel better about myself. When my co-worker is in my car, 2 of her wouldn't even fill that seat. I (used to) take up more than the whole thing.

When I was in Florida recently, my best friend from high school left her jeans in my bag. I pulled them out to give back to her and was joking with the rest of the girls how they wouldn't even fit one of my legs. The sad thing was it was true. Her waist is as big as one of my thighs. Maybe even smaller.

After the golf on Saturday (which was an incredibly fun day) we saw ourselves on TV both when Tiger was on the 6th and then when Mickelson was at the 18th. The one at the 6th was a far away shot but I was still the fattest person in the group but only because I knew what I was looking for and was being ultra critical. The 18th was another story. We were right in the front row of the bleachers and because you could only see us from the neck down, it was even worse.

I wonder when I got to the point where I was denying my size. Probably after I started gaining back the 100 pounds I lost. When it's gradual, it's not as noticeable until the lid on the skinny clothes bin won't shut anymore.

Losing 25 pounds has made a difference. I can use my arm rest and I've excavated the top layer of the skinny clothes bin but I'm glad I saw what I saw on TV because it was true. The truth hurts sometimes.

I'm mad at myself for not using that as motivation to get up this morning to work out because I felt congested and tired. I will work out tonight but that's not the point. The point is I talked myself out of it and made excuses. I'm better than that and tomorrow I won't let it happen again!

Friday!

Natural disasters on Mondays somehow make the rest of the week fly by. This was the shortest week ever which is a very good thing!

I had to go over to a friends house last night who needed to record my husbands fabulous Scottish accent for something. I got to meet his new girlfriend who is now one of my new best friends. Unfortunately, my new best friend and I drank an entire bottle of wine which led to a trip to Five Guys at 9:30 at night since we hadn't eaten any dinner. I ate a cheeseburger and it wasn't the junior one I usually get. It's okay though because I only had a few fries. RIGHT!?!?! So what do you think THAT led to? Me not getting up this morning to work out.

This is exactly why I don't drink very often. Don't get me wrong, I love it and could happily drink every day if there were no calories. The problem is even one glass of wine can lead to multiple bad decisions.

I'm not letting that lead to a crazy eating weekend. Normally I would say to myself that I've ruined all my hard work for the week and can eat whatever I want and I'll start over on Monday. Instead I stepped on the scale, saw I lost another pound and realized that my exercise can make up for the occasional bad decision. Then I told myself that the day was not over, it had just begun so I put on my workout clothes and wore them to the office. I'm going to walk at lunch today. This is major progress people. MAJOR!

I feel like I owe so much of what I've learned about myself and my weight problem to this blog and all the other blogs I read. Everywhere I turn here there is great advice, self affirmation, and help whenever you need a little boost.

Thanks y'all and thanks for my blog awards too! I'm going to put down a few honest things about me. If I have some time later I will give some out!

• I had blue hair (on purpose) most of the way through art school.
• I'm a serious clean freak. When we moved into the house we bought it was the first time I had lived anywhere where someone else had used the fridge. It took me 3 days to clean it and be able to put anything of mine in it.
• I love kids and work in kids marketing but don't have any desire to have any. Some day I will write a big long post about that.
• My mom is one of my best friends and I admire her as a person more than anyone else on earth.
• I'm still friends with almost every guy I ever dated. My husband is even friends with my boyfriend before him. I guess I've just always dated really nice guys.
• If money was no object I would dedicate my life to rescuing dogs.

Have a great weekend everyone! Check out my 'hood on the TV this weekend. They usually do some really nice stories on how the PGA tour has helped the neighborhood turn around. You never know...you might even see me! :)

circa 1988. I'm on the right. Damn I was cool. ;)

Forgotten weigh in

I forgot to weigh in yesterday. For some reason I have been having trouble keeping track of what day of the week it is. Sometimes I'm very blonde ;)

<------------ I lost this

One pound!

This is my favorite coffee ever. I know it's made here and I'm not sure you can get it anywhere else. I wish I could have some right now but I'm sure they don't have anywhere that sells it by the cup in the burbs. Even though I'm broke right now I will spend the $14 to obtain this little package of happiness.

I have coffee on the brain because I got up again this morning and did my elliptical workout. It wasn't any easier today and I feel so tired in the afternoon but I'm committed to this and I know it will get easier.

High and Dry

The sun is finally out and Atlanta is drying up again. My hearts go out to so many of those that were hit the worst. Seems like people by a river or a stream were the hardest hit.

The high part of the title is regarding my MORNING WORKOUT! Yes you read that right. I did the elliptical for 30 minutes this morning in the comfort of my own house. 5:45 comes really early but I know I can get used to it. I wanted to quit at 10 minutes then again at 20 but I pushed through 30. I will work my way up from there. The best part of working out at home is being able to wear a tank top and rock out to the ipod without feeling stupid. Aside from the occasional curious dog lick, I had some good me time. Now, I've already worked out and will have no guilt at the end of the day. I also think working out in the morning will help me make better choices throughout the day.

I wish I had more time to write today because I have a lot to say but the work is piling up and I'm sending out another resume so I need to get to it. It feels good to be proud of myself today although doubts are creeping back in the second I think about applying for another job. I'm going to try to push them aside and try to think about my mad skillz rather than my fat arse :)

(speaking of fat arses, I just had to stop what I was doing to bring something upstairs to my boss. He won't even walk down the stairs. Now, I don't feel nearly so bad about myself)

Soggy part deux

I love that now anytime anything bad happens, someone will Photoshop Kanye into a picture of said disaster. This is hilarious to me but I'm easily amused.

I'm sure most of you have seen the news about the flooding here and I'm hoping all my other Atlanta blog friends are okay. Leave me a comment to check in!

We're okay aside from a flooded basement, intermittent power and some stir-crazy dogs. I think the worst of it is over but getting home last night was a 2 hour process. They closed all 16 lanes of highway that run through the city and there were people stranded on top of their cars in the lake that was once the downtown connector. I was so thankful for my GPS to get me through the back roads. Absolutely crazy.

Because we had little to no power this morning, I didn't manage a workout but I DID get up at 6. I was kind of hoping that since schools were closed I wouldn't have to go to work and I could get a workout in when it got light out but no such luck. I'm proud of myself for at least getting up and managing to pack a healthy lunch for both of us.

Still so much work to do to catch up. I'm hoping to read some blogs later today and catch up. Looks like the power will stay on in the office! Hope everyone is having a great week.

Monday Mix Tape - Soggy Edition

Wow it is wet here in the ATL. It's been raining non-stop for a week and we're supposed to get 5 more inches today before it's all over. The dogs have cabin fever and I think we're all ready to see some sun.

I spent yesterday cleaning the tumbleweeds out of my little workout room. It suddenly occurred to me that I could use the expensive elliptical that has been sitting in my house for years as something other than a drying rack. I was up and at it this morning ready to use it until I realized that the lightning was so bad I might not want to be on something plugged into the wall. I did some random exercises instead but this is the week I start working out in the mornings. I know y'all have heard me say this for a year but I mean it this time!

My aunts funeral was on Friday and it was very sad but in the weird way that funerals do, it brought everyone so close together. My grandma is fine and my mom is fine and I'm just going to make sure to keep checking in on both of them. It's funny how the older I get, the more I give my mom the same kind of advice she would give me. Makes me realize how much she's taught me and how grateful I am to her for the way she raised us.

I managed to get tickets to the PGA Tour Championship on Saturday! I don't normally call in favors from vendors but since FedEx is one of our biggest and they sponsor the tour, I did it. I compromised by not demanding Sunday tickets :) East Lake is at the end of our street and it's such a fun day. We'll decide who we want to follow around for the day but it won't be Tiger because you usually can't get near him. I will make sure to take some pictures.

Now I must get to work. Things got off schedule big time with the funeral so I hope to get caught up today. Have a great week everyone!!

Time to focus

No weight loss to report this week. No gain either which is a miracle!

Last nights Biggest Loser was very inspiring. I almost turned it off since they started with the crying in the first minute but I hung in there. It made me realize how much I'm NOT doing right now. I have been using stress as an excuse to eat and do whatever I want when I should be using it as motivation to do those things even more.

I have a hard time changing my behavior mid-week. I'm a "start on Monday" person in the worst way but this morning I re-committed to my goals starting with breakfast. I stopped eating breakfast when I had a nervous stomach waiting to hear about that job and that's been dangerous as my appetite has come back. If I don't eat breakfast, I'm starving by lunch and will eat anything that comes from a drive-thru and can be quickly shoved in my face. I have been leaving my healthy lunch to sit in the fridge and that's not acceptable. It's a waste of my money, time and calories!

I've been doing a little yoga and feeling fine. Fall is coming and I want to run outside so I'm going to start the couch to 5k over again. I will start on that next week and finish out my week of yoga which has really worked for my back and my attitude!

Hope everyone is having a great week and thanks as always for your support. This blog is about to become more about weight loss again and less bitching about my life! :)

Big pink puffy hearts

I'm actually smiling today because this gorgeous necklace came in the mail last night. I big pink puffy heart this and It's going to be a while before I take it off! That's the great thing about friends. They are always there to cheer you up and you may even have something fun in your mailbox on the most craptastic of days :)

Thank you all for your kind words about my aunt. I was REALLY angry yesterday and after talking to my sisters, I realized we all were and didn't feel so alone in that. From what I can tell, it's a very common reaction to a suicide.

TOM arrived this morning. No wonder I felt like such a wreck. It made me laugh out loud thanks to this gem by Mr. Sh*t :)

surviving

Thank you Tammy for the comment asking where I've been. I was just thinking this weekend how I need to be more accountable for my blog even when I'm feeling miserable. It's nice to have friends whether they be people you see all the time or my blog friends.

Last week was one of my toughest weeks at work EVER but I managed to throw my best friend her birthday party which was very successful. Saturday and Sunday I spent mostly feeling sorry for myself.

This morning I had a slap in the face that kinda put things in perspective (again). My aunt, my moms sister, the 2nd youngest of 10, took her own life late last night. My mom is okay but it's my grandmother we all worry about. She's deteriorating from Alzheimer's and has to be told what happened every 5 minutes. They are all in Minnesota and everyone who isn't is headed there. My sisters and I won't be going but we will surely be here thinking of everyone there and mourning the loss of our dear aunt.

So that's where I am right now. I wish there was more I could do but I'm a little lost sitting at my desk staring at my screen. I have to interview a freelancer and then may just go to the bar to hang out with my sister for a while and then go home and love on my dogs until hubby comes home. Hug your people. Hug your pets. I need to take my own advice much more often.

Catching my breath

Being back at my desk is actually a relief today after playing hostess for the last 2 weekends. We had a great time but my time consisted mostly of cook, clean, serve, clean and repeat. My body feels like I ran a marathon and the recycling bin is going to need a fork lift to make it to the curb this week. I'm so thankful to have a husband who knows how to be a good host and how to help without me having to ask. I'm so lucky and I will never take that for granted!

I did put on 3 pounds over the long weekend but with some work this week, that will be gone in a flash. I only drank one night out of the 3 and because I was so busy, it was easy. As much as I love drinking, I'd rather eat my calories :)

The rest of this week is only slightly crazy. I have a "fancy" birthday party to go to tonight and then my best friends 40th is on Friday. The solution to that dilemma ended up being a wonderful combination of all of your suggestions. She and I are getting a pedicure right after I get out of work and then we are going to dinner at her favorite restaurant with another friend of hers. Then, back to my house for champagne on the deck. Whew. Another thing checked off the long to-do list.

I've decided to do a week of yoga and Pilates to help calm my nerves and in hopes of getting rid of some lower back pain I've developed from doing too much running around and climbing ladders. I have a degenerative disk and normally it doesn't bother me as long as I keep my core strong but I haven't been doing as much of that type of work as I should and I'm paying the price! Fortunately I've learned that repeat visits to the orthopedist and cortisone shots do nothing and it's all about the exercise.

Now that I've bored y'all to tears, I'm off to get some work done and drink about 20 gallons of water. Hope everyone had a great weekend!!

Do unto others

I'm super busy today but just had to share a good story from this morning.

I had to drop off a big donation for the Food Bank for work so I left my house early but was still in a hurry to get to the office. I felt great about doing a good deed and was driving (fast) on the nice, curvy, back roads I take to work. Not one but TWO people flashed their lights at me to let me know there was a cop hiding in the bushes ahead. Can you imagine getting a speeding ticket because you were in a hurry to get to work after making a donation to the food bank!?!?! Dodged a bullet there. Thank you nice people of Sandy Springs. I now know that you are more than just tennis skirt wearing b*tches :)

I was vacuuming at 6:00 this morning so I'm ready for my guests! I wish I could have y'all over for the amazing fruit salad I made.

Hope everyone has a wonderful Labor Day weekend!!

*helpful hint....combine yoga moves with home pedicure. It's a time saver! :)

Baggy pants

Why is it that sometimes the scale won't move much but suddenly it's time for new pants? I should say "trousers" so my British friends don't snicker ;) I might even have to venture in to the two bins of skinny clothes I have and see what's in there! Yesterday's pants could barely zip at the beginning of the summer and when I put them on, I thought they were ripped or something because they would barely stay on. The scale is a constant source of confusion but screw it, I'm feeling pretty good about going down a size or two. Anyone else experience this?

I'm running around like crazy today and tonight working and getting ready for my Scottish family to arrive tomorrow. I'm trying to put together some meals that don't break the money and calorie bank. I'm running out of time! :) Hope everyone is having a great week!

Better!

Thank you all for your sweet responses to my post yesterday. I was really down but I'm feeling a lot better today. I was even rocking out to Peter Murphy (my most favorite singer of all times) on the way to work. Yes, I'm almost 40 and still listen to the same music as I did when I was a teenager. I think it keeps me young :)

I sent out another resume yesterday and that's really all I can do right now. The fact that I was 1 of 6 interviewed out of 350 applicants for this last job proves to me that my resume and portfolio are in good shape.

I wish I could write more today but the work ain't gonna do itself. Have a great day everyone and thanks for cheering me up!!