Thursday, January 21, 2010

One month of gym

It's been exactly a month since I joined the gym. Out of those 30 days I've been there 24 times.

I got on the scale and it STILL hasn't moved. Only 3 pounds in one month. I know that people say (but Jillian doesn't agree) that muscle weighs more than fat. That's great but surely there should be some progress by now.

Let me preface the rest of this post by saying I'm not giving up (yet)

I feel like I've tried everything. I'm sitting here typing in tears because I think I'm eventually going to have to have surgery. The thyroid has been checked 800 million times. I've been on every diet on earth. When I lost 100 pounds it was because I was working out like crazy and not eating. Don't think I haven't thought about doing that again. Some of my skinniest friends never eat. Maybe a steady diet of lattes, cigarettes and cocaine?

I'm eating 1500 calories a day, working out 6 days a week, not drinking alcohol, drinking more water. I don't know what else to do.

I'm going to shoot for another month of 6 days a week at the gym and maybe dropping my calories to 1300 or 1400. I'm also going to finally do my BMR to make sure I have a daily calorie deficit. Then, one more trip to the doctor for the thyroid test(which is borderline but still normal). Next stop, lap band seminar. I just can't imagine life after that surgery but is it better than being fat and on the fast road to dying young? My father died at 49. Only 9 years away.

I don't think I've mentioned this but I've been off Lexapro for over a month and I've been doing really well until today. My anxiety issues are all brought on by other people (my doctor said "aren't they all" which I thought was quite funny) I had a small anxiety attack in the pool because it was really crowded and someone wanted to share my lane. I explained that I was fat and slow but skinny miss pro swimmer didn't seem to mind until she realized I was indeed slow (like I said) I take up twice as much room as they do so why don't they just share lanes with each other? They have the lanes marked fast and medium but not a slow or even beached whale option. You think you could tell by looking at me that I wasn't in the fast or even medium category. Finally she went off to share a lane with her kind but I was already so worked up I only managed 3/4 of my workout. As soon as I got out of the pool the senior water aerobics class were all getting out and showering and I thought I was going to explode.

Sorry to dump this all out here today. I know it's a mess of a post going in a million different directions but I might really be at the end of my rope this time and I feel like it's important to put it all out there. If anyone has any advice about what I might be doing wrong please let me know. I thought I knew it all in regards to diet and exercise but maybe I don't.


  1. (((Tina))), don't apologize for "dumping," that's what these blogs are for! We are here to support each other and hold the vision when we can't see clearly for ourselves.

    I don't have any answers for you, hon, but I'm here if you want to vent.


  2. I'm so sorry to hear you're going thru this. I, too, am having problems actually dropping the weight. Even tho' we try all the right things, it just ain't happenin'. I lost quickly the first two weeks, then nothing. Got rid of the water, I'm sure. I still think that eventually, since I feel better, the weight will come off. The wait may do me in, but I'll keep plugging along. Hopefully, you'll do the same. It's way too early to give up. We are all here for you, and we'll commiserate every inch of the way. Keep at it, it's gonna work!!!

  3. Ah Tina, I'm sorry that the scale hasn't moved more for you - it has got to be incredibly frustrating with all of the work you've been putting into it. Are you keeping a food journal? If so, can I take a look at it? I'm no expert but maybe there is something that might stand out...

    Don't give up - and remember, with that exercise you are making yourself healthier by the day!

    Hang in there my friend.


    Don't give up!! It's been a month only. When you have a chance, sit down and close your eyes. Think about how long it took you to lose the weight originally. Now double that amount of time. Remind yourself that you are the most important person in this world (because you are) and you need to give yourself the time and the respect you deserve.

    I know I don't know you, this happened to be the first post of yours I've ever read but I know I've had those same feelings before, been in a similar place before.

    Please don't give up. This doesn't have to be an all or nothing kind of deal. Move more (or, rather, as much as you are when you're at the gym). Forgive yourself.

  5. In my post today I speak about how a minor tweak to my diet helped me to start losing weight. If you keep that food journal, DO let Shelley look at it! Also, ENOUGH of calling yourself a beached whale, etc. That serves absolutely no purpose. I know it's how you're feeling but you don't deserve to be that mean to yourself. Chin up girl!

  6. I had to convert my program to 100% cardio in order to lose weight. Strength training just cut into my losses like crazy, even though it may have been smarter in the long run.

    My suggestion? 45 minutes of some sort of intense cardio five-six days a week (burning at least 500-600 calories) and adjust your diet to create that deficit you need to lose weight. It really is a numbers game, Tina.

    If that doesn't work, try the cigs, Red Bull, cocaine path. ;)

  7. start writing down what you are eating. I used to say 'I don't know why I am not losing weight, I hardly don't eat anything at all'. come to find out writing down all those nibbles do at up. if you think weight loss surgery is a easy out and a easier way to lose weight it isn't. believe me I have gotten the surgery and do realize I still will be on this diet for ever. ask your doctor to see if you can see a nutritionalist and guide you better. I still think to this day that my thyroid wasn't working and it all checked out. I was just in denial. I also thought I had some strange weight disease cos a woman said she had it. said you have skinnky legs and a hump on your neck. I was check for that. It seemed I just had mouthitis (couldn't stop eatint). dump all you want. we are here to listen.

  8. I don't lose nearly a lot of weight when I do strength training. Go for the full cardio at least 1 hour of it and make sure your heart rate is up or its not burning the calories.

  9. Sorry you are going through this right now.

    Could you maybe post a menu of what you are eating so we can help with that? sometimes it helps to have a third party see this things to point out gaps or areas for improvement.

    Honestly if you are working out 6 days a week hard, 1500 cal may not be enough. You might need to eat a little more. I know it sounds counterintuitive but I lost the majority of my weight eating my WW daily points, flex points, activity points, AND THEN SOME MORE!

    I am glad you aren't giving up!

  10. god, i have to tell you, i would LOVE IT if a steady diet of cigarettes and lattes (nonfat!) was a feasible option. and wine, occasionally. not sure how i feel about cocaine since i'm afraid of things going up my nose...

    can i suggest a point BETWEEN here and surgery? ask your doctor about meridia or adipex. i'm not totally sure about adipex, but meridia i know works in the brain, not the body (it's not speed) and i know people are often very happy on it.

    i feel your pain-- working SO HARD and doing everything right and... nothing. i've lost 6.4 OUNCES in 3 weeks. so frustrating.

  11. Tina, sending hugs your way. You are fighting the good fight - keep it up! I tend to agree with not just celery - perhaps you need to eat a little more to see results. At 1500 calories your body might be in starvation mode.

    Think about some other ways to measure your progress beyond the scale. Can you do more laps now than you did a month ago? Climb stairs a teeny bit easier? If you have a pedometer, have you noticed your steps increasing? Your health IS improving. Sometimes the scale just takes a while to catch up.

    Finally, it looks like you could use some inspiration. I know this will sound weird, but reading the book Diabesity inspired me to keep moving and make better food choices. It sounds morbid, but knowing the science behind overeating was really helpful for me.

    I'm going to pray for you right now!

  12. After all that hard work that is such a disappointment when you don't see a change. I'm agreeing the the others above that maybe cardio is the way to go for a while and then maybe slowly bring in weights. Just don't give up and feel free to dump here anytime!!

  13. Tina, my heart seriously aches for you after reading this post! I can empathize with how you feel. It is so frustrating to work so hard at something, and not see a lot of results from it. I went through months of that myself! I finally went to a nutritionist, and she said based on my activity level, I may not have been eating enough calories. Once I added more calories in, I started to see a difference on the scale. So maybe that's the case for you -- possibly needing more calories?

    I admire you so much for working so hard. And you will make it to your goal!!

  14. Tina! Don't give up! Something in the exercise/diet equation is not working. I am not sure if it's the type of foods you are eating or maybe some other hormonal issues, but 9 times out of 10, there's one important mistake that is being made and you just need to find out what that is. There are so many factors that can affect your weight. And, you MUST focus on the healthy things you are doing for your body. You are gaining fitness, you are strengthening your heart, you are cleaning your arteries, you are lengthening your life. You do not want to give up on yourself. Aren't you worth it? My recommendation before you go the lap band route is to have someone, a professional dietian or nutritionist review your diet. This is most often where the mistakes are made. Hang in there!

  15. I'm sorry you're going through this :( My only advice is to keep at it, and stay strong. If you keep eating healthy, and exercise, you have to see results sooner or later. Also, remember that you're transforming into a healthier person. You may not see it in the numbers on the scale, but I assure you, you are!


  16. I have hit a few lulls and instead of lowering my calories I ate more of them by noon and less later in the day. Just that switch up tricked my body into dropping again. I strength and cardio because I need the strength training to even out a shoulder injury I have that acts up if all I do it swim and I haven't the knees to run.

    I know you are down. and that swimmer kinda tweaked you. You DO NOT take up more of the lane. When I slip into a pool I am often met with the skinny swimmer types asking me if I am sure I can keep up in their lane circle swimming, met two like that yesterday. Funny, I lapped em' and they left their workout 20 min before I was done with mine.

    You just keep swimming! Don't be afraid to take stroke technique lessons (local swim teams and the community college offer em here) and if they get in you lane...split the lane and ask em which side they want and ignore them and do your thing. You can do it! I wish I could come swim with you!

  17. Tina..hang in there. You are doing an AMAZING thing for your body..and it WILL thank you! Changes are just are not seeing them on the scale yet. You are getting healthier and stronger every time you hit that gym!!

    You might want to look at the composition of what you are eating. Do you track that? Protein/Carbs/Fat? You could make some tweaks there and increase your protein and fat, and decrease your carbs. More protein will help with cravings, too. (Too many carbs make me crave bad stuff and keep me from losing weight...that might be true for you, never know until you play around with it a bit).

    I wish you had a bodyfat % scale when you weighed yourself..because then you would know what was actually going on. If, say, you lost 3 pounds but went down 3 percentage points in body fat...that would be a gigantic victory (and would mean you were, indeed building muscles!) If you do not have access to such a scale...try this site to estimate body fat percentage....and do it each time you do a weigh in. Email me if you want and I can help you make sense of the numbers. (I am a numbers geek).

    And...don't listen to Jack....doing some HEAVY weights (not the barbie 2 pounders) will also help. A good book on this is "The New Rules of Lifting For Women". Many of us in the blogosphere have been following thi book!

    YOU ARE DOING A GREAT JOB! 24 days at the gym is more times than I made it to the gym this past month! Rock on..and chin up!!! And..hey....3 pounds is 3 pounds. Own it! Woooo!

  18. I am glad to hear that you are not giving up, but the "yet" does worry me. Do what you can, focus on the positives and listen to what the other way smarter people commented on. There is probably just an adjustment or two you could make to kick your metabolism into gear.

    You are stronger than you were yesterday and tomorrow you will be even stronger.

  19. I'm sorry the scale hasn't moved more for you. When that happens for me, it's very hard. I've done all this work and where is my darn progress?! BUT 3 pounds is still a loss! AND exercise makes you healthy in other ways too. I love climbing stairs without getting winded. It feels so amazing. Good luck with the journey!

  20. Tina, I'm so sorry that you're struggling. And believe me, I have been there before. I've also been at the informational seminar for the lap band surgery. I'm so glad I didn't go that route.

    In 2006, when I lost my first 60 pounds, I was on a great, healthy eating plan and working out 6 days a week - weights AND cardio. 6 weeks later, I hadn't lost a single POUND! I was losing fat, though, and I KNOW you are too.

    I have a few thoughts for you:

    1. Try weight training. The more muscle you build, the more fat you will burn at rest, and the leaner you will look. Over time, strength training will be the single most important thing you do to lose FAT.

    2. Try eating more. 1,500 calories/day is surely VERY low for someone working out six days/week. Try eating 1,800 calories, putting the emphasis on lean protein (at least 100 grams/day), veggies, fruits, and complex carbs.

    3. Eat first thing in the morning when you wake up to spark your metabolism. Then eat every 3 hours or so, each time snacking on a combination of protein, complex carbs, and healthy fat.

    4. Give it time! You're asking your body to let go of fat you've been hanging on to for years! You're asking your body to adjust to a totally different way of life in just 4 weeks. And remember, you DID lose 3 pounds, the scale DID move.

    If you lost 3-4 pounds a month for the next year, you would lose roughly 40 pounds, give or take. The year is going to pass either way. You can either have surgery, with all its associated risks and complications, and lose a bunch more weight but not be able to eat normally FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, or you can keep living a healthy, active lifestyle and in one year, weigh 40 pounds (or more) less than you do now, having avoided major surgery and the associated changes you'd have to live with b/c of the lap band.

    Anyhow, off the soapbox now. I hear you, I am sending you hugs and strength, and I KNOW things will come together for you if you don't give up hope. YOU CAN DO THIS!

  21. I have not read all of the other replys so someone may have suggested this already.... Make sure your calorie intake is correct with how much you are working out and then change your calories each day. For example if your calorie intake is 1600 a day then eat 1500 one day and then 1700 another day then 1600 the next.... trick your body. Just make sure not to go over the total calorie intake for the week. Just something to try. Good Luck!

  22. Hey girl! I'm gonna' tell you like it is, because I like you, and we're going to make great friends, I just know it...can't wait to meet up next week!

    Listen to Jack...the one who's lost the weight and in a decent amount of time. You do NOT need a pill and you damn sure don't need the lap band...ever.

    I can see you're putting forth the effort and you're not seeing the results you should be seeing. All that means is that something needs to be tweaked. I think Jack is right when he says it might be that you need to do more cardio. It really is all about burning the calories, and cardio will damn sure do it. Have you tried the elliptical? It hurts like hell, but that's because it works. Or the have to walk longer with a higher incline, but walking works too. Go with more cardio...try that next. My gym partner and I just had this exact conversation last night. We do 1 1/2 hrs at the gym 5-6 nights a week, and we're not seeing the progress we should be seeing. We know we're doing something wrong, and we're working on figuring out what that is. Raising the cardio was one of our ideas...I think Jack is absolutely right. You hang in there, and we'll talk about this at length when we meet up this week. You're not alone girl!! I'm here for you!! :)

  23. I love the Jillian reference! But, Im sorry for the scale not moving! Thats always such a bummer. Keep on movin' on though, you can do it!

  24. Hi Tina,
    Just an idea. I was on Lexapro and gained 30lbs. in 4 mo. After going off it ,it took me a good 6wks. to start loosing. What a relief that was!!

  25. We've all been there when the scale does not move a lot, but it really could be due to your thyroid. I am hypothyroid, but my synthroid dose would not have been increased if they had not looked at free t3 or free t4 in addition to TSH. I would talk to your endocrinologist about looking at those blood tests as well. Hope that helps!

  26. Hi Tina - I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. It can be so frustrating! Would maybe trying another cardio exercise help - just to throw a little variety into the mix? People laugh but I swear if I keep my body guessing instead of doing and eating the same thing each day, it seems to respond well.

    I'm holding good thoughts for you. Don't give up - we'll help you get there. Stay strong, girl.

  27. I just started a diet where I cut out all sugar and white flour with I eat a lot of lean protein and salads and good carbs and I've lost four pounds in three days. This is after I've already lost a lot of weight for my size, and after I try to keep my calories down to a decent level.

    They say the sugar and white flour when combined together help to prohibit weight loss.

    Sorry you're feeling so down about everything. I hope things get better for you.