Yesterday was a bit of a struggle for me but luckily being back to blogging regularly has made me so much more self-aware.
I had taken day off from the gym after 7 days in a row and I never seemed to be able to get going for the day without it. Later in the afternoon my business partner and I had to deal with a huge mess regarding a friend we thought we could rely on as another partner. I almost had an anxiety attack so I took half a xanax which didn't help my energy level.
I was really hurt and disappointed and all I wanted to do was eat. That's how quickly I found myself retreating to my old thoughts. I had already eaten a huge salad for lunch so I had an apple and Laughing Cow. Then a hundred calorie pack (luckily, only one). Then all I could think about was a cheeseburger from Five Guys. I wanted to be stuffed full and go to bed early. Even though we had already planned on having some whole wheat pasta with sauce that was already made and defrosting, I just couldn't bare the thought of it. The dogs were desperate for an "outing" so we decided to go to Moe's and pick up something that would satisfy my need for comfort without breaking the calorie bank. (a Joey Junior has only 383 calories without cheese)
It was delicious of course and fulfilled a need but I feel like that need to eat for comfort is never going to leave me. The important thing now I suppose is my awareness of it and working around it. Don't get me wrong. I know I can work the things I love into my meal plans but this really showed me how working out first thing in the morning sets the tone for my WHOLE day. Even my only day off, I need to move a little to get my head on straight.
I was still a little blah and tired this morning but I got up, laced up my shoes, and drove my husband to the train. In that short trip his encouragement turned my crap attitude around and by 7:15 am I had done AN HOUR on the treadmill. 30 minutes of that was couch to 5k then another half hour of incline walking. I feel like yesterday never happened and I'm back to my motivated self. If I'm going to do this half marathon, there is no room for setbacks.
As I was getting dressed for my part time job, I realized I didn't really have any summer pants that fit anymore. I'm hoping there's something in the archives to get me through this summer without having to buy anything new. Buh-bye to the size 20 somethings. The teens are back! I WILL remember this feeling next time I face a challenge.