I really didn't even want to post today but all the amazing comments I got on yesterdays post made me realize I have to keep going through good and bad. If it wasn't for this blog, I may have given it all up today.
I gained a freakin pound but as the oh so wise Mr. Sh*t told me, "know that what you're doing is better than what you're NOT doing (binging, slothing)". So I did exactly what he said. He's kinda like my male Oprah. I do whatever he tells me to do. I'm sure he'll be thrilled with that comparison ;)
Yesterday after my post I did go to the pool but not for an easy swim by any means. I rocked 40 laps in 45 minutes. At one point there was a "real" swimmer girl who kept looking at me and I almost said out loud "I'm not racing you so so stop looking at me you dumb $*%#!". I calmed myself down and remembered I was there to change my mood and not take it out on some girl who dared look at me. I swear I'm not a mean person but sometimes....grrrr. I felt awesome when I finished and too a long soak in the hot tub even though I had a ton of work to do.
My reaction this morning was downright stupid. My first thoughts were along the lines of "I can eat like crap and gain weight so I might as well" and so on. Later when my husband saw my tears and reminded me how much better I said I felt. My reply was "well what I really feel is tired, sore, sad and pissed of at my stupid sister who woke me up with a stupid drunk phone call after I'd gone to bed twice this week."
I ALMOST didn't go this morning. I still had tears in my eyes as I was staring at the moon getting in the car. But I went because I knew everyone was cheering me on. My husband and my blog friends are my biggest fans and I'm not letting them down. I did a pretty kick-ass half hour of c25k week 4 and then another half hour of incline intervals walking. I managed 3.25 miles in an hour which means my time is improving ever so slightly.
Speaking of my husband, he has lost 15 pounds now and I'm so proud of him. He will be in onederland by next week. I'm glad he's seeing progress because it's been a little hard for him to adjust to drinking very little beer and only having potatoes once a week :)
The point of all of this is to get my mind to the point where "going back" is out of the question. Where I don't want to eat like crap and sit on the couch. I'm getting there.