Friday, May 29, 2009

Pavolv's Fat Girl

Last night after dinner we were sitting on the couch catching up on some shows and the oven timer went off. I immediately jumped up and thought "COOKIES!" until I realized I had just accidentally left it on. I guess that goes to show me how often I made cookies during dinner which would result in eating the entire pan in one night. I found it extremely funny how a simple sound could trigger a reflex like that. Maybe that will be the case forever or maybe I will eventually think "BRUSSELS SPROUTS" when I hear the beep.

I took the night off from exercise last night and it felt good to have a rest after 3 days in a row. We took the dogs for a nice walk and it's amazing how much my endurance has improved. I barely broke a sweat on our usual route which almost killed me a few months ago. I'll be pounding away on the treadmill again tonight. I hope I have more energy than I did on Wednesday night. I think sometimes we are just "off".

This weekend is supposed to be sunny for the first time in forever and I plan on making the most of it! We don't have too many social obligations aside from a baby shower so I plan on getting a ton of exercise and some good sunshine.

Hope everyone has a great weekend!!

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

How much did she lose this week?

This really creepy Stewie costume

-2.8 pounds!

but wait, there's more!

Because I didn't go to my regular meeting last week, I got this when I stepped on the scale just to weigh in on Friday....

we celebrated that at the meeting today and I got another gold 5.

I have lost 15.4 pounds now on Weight Watchers and I still don't feel deprived. Sure I've given up some portions, some snacks and some drive-thrus but nothing is really off limits and that is obviously the key to my long-term success.

This big loss just proves to me that I was right about it being time to push myself harder on the exercise front. I think I can safely say I've moved from wogging to jogging and maybe even running at times. Last night I did 14 minutes out of 35. Tonight I will try to do 15 out of 40 and my plan is to slowly work my way up to a solid hour with most of that being running.

I feel like a million bucks right now. I could go on and on today but I'm simply going to say thanks to all my blog friends who have been so helpful and supportive on this journey. It's getting better every day!!!

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Weekend recap - Success!

Hang on to your hats kids. This may be my first ever successful 3 day weekend...and I had fun too!

On Friday morning I decided that I would go to a meeting at Weight Watchers to make me strong for the weekend. Even though I weighed in, I wasn't able to get to my usual meeting on Wednesdays. I got a nice surprise on the scale too. I will go into that on Wednesday so stay tuned!

Since it was the start of the holiday weekend, my husband and I both got out of work early and were able to go to the gym together! It was so nice for a change and I was so proud of myself for sticking to my wogging plan even though it was Friday night. I wogged 13 minutes out of 30. 5 minutes continuous. I hope to improve on this everytime. Hooray for the wogging and I'm so glad there are so many others doing it too! Maybe one day we'll be able to actually call it running!

There's a new Fresh Market that is right by the gym so we went there to pick up some dinner. My husband got rotisserie wings and I got some sushi. That place is incredible and will probably make me go to the gym even more!

The rest of the weekend was full of social obligations and I enjoyed some great things like margaritas, lasagna, beer, pizza and even some dessert. Just A LOT less of it. I didn't snack much aside from some microwave popcorn on Friday.

Exercise over the weekend was not purposeful but we had so many projects planned that involved sweat dripping work, I knew I could get away with not going to the gym. Let me tell you that Biggest Loser Yoga has nothing on replacing a garbage disposal. I was more sore from doing that than any workout I've ever done! We also made a new shade garden in the front yard which involved lots of shoveling and hauling and lifting. Again I was literally soaked through with sweat.

Things are definitely changing. I'm learning more about myself than ever and I owe so much of it to this blog. It helps me notice patterns in my successes and failures and both give me knowledge to keep going. I will dive into some of these things throughout the week.

In the meantime, this post is ridiculous long and I want to go catch up on y'alls weekends. Hope everyone had a good one!!

Friday, May 22, 2009

And I ran, I ran (not) so far away...

Remember that song from the 80's? Flock of Seagulls have not aged well.

I ran last night for about 5 minutes out of 30. Well it was really a wog (which is a MizFit word I love!) It was SO hard. I was sweating like a fool. Luckily there weren't many people around me! I'm always afraid that when I have my Ipod on I'm breathing too loudly. I know I already look like a fool with fat and sweat flying everywhere but I don't want to draw attention to myself gasping for air.

At first I didn't think my ankles were going to cooperate with this new idea of running. My first attempt scared me a little so I slowed back down to a walk but then I tried it again at a slower pace and I was fine. It's going to take some work to make them strong again. They still feel a little wobbly at times.

My husband and I are going to go to the gym tonight together if we both get out of work around the same time. I'm looking forward to that! By July I would like to be ready to do a spin class which is another fun thing we could do together. By then it will be too hot to be outside for exercise!

The weekend will be pretty low key and I'm planning on staying in control of my eating and getting plenty of exercise. I've dipped into some extra points already this week and I'm going to have to be careful. It's really too bad it's supposed to be cloudy again! Hope everyone has a great holiday weekend!

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

How much did she lose this week?

A men's Asics Shoe.
-.8 pounds!

I was happy to have lost anything this week. It's been so hectic and lots of social obligations. I had wine and some appetizers with my girlfriends on my street last night and wasn't out of control. I guess it helped that there was constant talking and laughing. My husband said the dogs were going nuts because I was across the street but they could still hear me. Needless to say, whenever I drink I tend to gain a ton but obviously my exercise this week has paid off.

Tomorrow night after work I have an appointment with the treadmill to start this running thing. I don't usually go to the gym on Thursday nights but it's time to start. Also Thursday is the worst traffic day so I might as well wait some to sit in the worst of it.

I THINK I've almost outgrown my water aerobics class. I may go some this summer just to cool off but it will have to be in addition to a more strenuous workout. It's starting to feel easy. Once again getting comfortable!

So this (not as) fat girl has dove in and is now crawling back up on land. Sounds like I'm evolving :)

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Digging Deep

As I've probably mentioned, I've been listening to the all the archives of Jillian Michael's podcasts and she talks a lot about digging deep. Someone elses blog mentioned that recently too and if I had a memory left, I'd link to you. Whoever you are, I get it now.

I've given this a lot of thought and I'm realizing that's what's missing right now and what needs to the next step for me. Physically, mentally, and professionally. I've gotten too comfortable since I got married (oh and gained 60 lbs.) I have pushed myself in the past (lost 100 pounds, graduated from an expensive art school on my own dime etc.) and I don't have any idea why I stopped doing that. I guess settling into marriage is a lot like settling down on the couch at the end of a long day. Once you get comfortable, there's no getting up to work out :)

I'm going to really work on this. Today I applied for an executive level job which I know I can do but it's going to be hard work. Professionally and mentally, that's a really big step and I would LOVE to get an interview.

The physical part is going to be harder. I'm doing my workouts, I just need to dig deeper and find the strength within myself to make the sweat fly. I know that's what it takes because I've done it before. I never worked out less than an hour when I lost 100 pounds but now that's become acceptable to me and I kick and scream about why I can't even lose a pound a week.

It's time I work towards what I want to be. I've been moving backwards on the pay scale and the bathroom scale. Since I'm not having any kids, I might as well break out of my comfort zone and shoot for the moon as far as my career goes. I might have to dress up and be all corporate again but at least then I could afford a some new clothes and a trainer to go with them :)

Monday, May 18, 2009

A good karma story

People are always telling me I'm way too nice and while sometimes that bites me in ass, it sometimes results in great things happening to me in return :)

I went to a neighborhood garden fair with my sister and a friend. Walter Reeves, the Southern Gardener, was giving a talk and was really interesting! Our friend really wanted to go but didn't want to spend the money for a $10 ticket so I paid for her ticket and gave my sister the remaining $5 I had to buy us 6 raffle tickets. She gave us each 2 and I almost forgot about it until the end when they were doing the drawing.

BOTH my tickets won prizes! They had some gorgeous things donated by local businesses to support the Garden Club. Here's what I won:

This gorgeous planter with a 'Flapjack' succulent (Kalanchoe thyrisflora) This stands about 2 feet high.

And Kate Spade sunglasses! Totally awesome. I've never had expensive sunglasses before and these were FREE! :) Even though it was a horrible rainy day, this little surprise cheered me up a little.

I was really down again on Sunday. So much so that I didn't want to go to the movies and sit in a dark theater. Even though it was raining (again), I felt like I needed to get some things done around the house. That turned out to be a good idea because I took my frustrations out on the linen closet. Nothing makes me feel better than some serious organization :)

My husband and I had a good long talk about why I felt so sad recently. Like I've mentioned in posts before, the pay cut has really gotten me down and I'm really starting to feel the affects of it. He's going to Scotland in 2 weeks and I knew it was going to be hard to stay behind but I wasn't expecting it to be this hard. We love to go over there to visit his family together but it just couldn't be done now that 20 grand has been taken away from my income. I am thankful we were able to send him though. He hasn't been over since his dads funeral in October and I think his sweet mum needs another visit from her youngest boy. I'm also thankful to have the most awesome husband and best friend that I can talk to about anything at anytime. This week I will try to remember what we talked about which was how great our life together is and how truly blessed we are. Nothing else really matters.

I have a really busy week this week. Lots of work. Lots of social obligations. Somehow I'm going to try to fit it all in! I hope everyone has a great week!

Friday, May 15, 2009


Thank you all so much for all of your sweet comments. It helps me SO much and I find it funny how I want to do well for you all as much as I want to for myself. I like to have good news to report in my blog but I promised myself in the beginning that I would be totally honest about what's going on in my life. Even the bad days!

So I decided to survey the damage from the chocolate chip cookie disaster by getting on the scale this morning. I weigh 4 pounds more than I did last Friday. Cue the tears again. I was actually trying to convince myself I worked really hard this week but if I was to be really honest with myself, I didn't. Sure, I made a few good decisions but I made some bad ones too. I'm the queen of denial. Must be the 13 years of Catholic school.

Can I just say that if my coworker mentions the fact that she has a half day and is going to her husbands company picnic one more time I'm going to slap her? It's the only sunny day we've had in a million years and I'm stuck here at my desk with the promise of another rainy weekend.

After another morning in tears, I'm listening to BBC World on the way into work and hearing this horrible story about a family fleeing Pakistan that had to leave their son behind because he had polio and couldn't make the journey. They left him with some bread and water and are just hoping that he lives. Kinda puts things into perspective and it gave me the slap in the face I deserved for being a big fat whiner.

I have to keep going and I have to keep up! My husband hit normal BMI the other day and has been running a LOT. I'm so happy for him but I don't want to be left behind. I'm packed and ready for butt kicking night at the gym which will be 30-40 minutes on the treadmill and then my water aerobics class. I'm making a promise to myself to do 6-7 days of gym workouts instead of the 2-3 I've been doing. I was counting my 20 minute dog walk in the morning as a workout and that is mostly spent letting the dogs sniff around and pee on everything. So, it's either work out more or develop a cocaine habit which is probably way more expensive than a trainer, not to mention dangerous and illegal :)

I hope everyone has a great weekend and that it's sunny where you live! I will be going to our new farmers market, a garden festival, and to see Star Trek. I heart Simon Pegg!!!

Thursday, May 14, 2009

I ate 9 chocolate chip cookies

I'm not going to go on about it but I felt like crap about it and actually cried about it on my walk this morning. I never thought I was a true binge eater but last night proved otherwise. I was almost in a panic last night about what I was going to eat. I've been this way before but never realized it until I started writing about it and reading about it on other blogs. I wasn't that hungry. I can't even begin to figure out why I did it. I know that I was depressed about my weigh in but am I that stupid?

If the sun would ever shine again, I might be in a better mood. We've had no Spring to speak of and I think it's wearing me out.

Now, I'm going to quit whining, forget about the cookies, eat my regular breakfast, and be inspired by reading all my blogs :)

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

How much did she lose this week?

This box of Franken Berry cereal YUM!
-.6 pounds

I'll admit I'm a little frustrated with the slow weight loss because I've really been pushing myself when it comes to exercise. I've been so sore all week. I owe it all to the weekend eating and drinking and I guess it could have been a lot worse. Still. Going. Down.

Next Wednesday I WILL hit that 5% mark. We have no social obligations this weekend and plan on doing some extra exercise. I'm really seeing the transition happening in our transitional neighborhood and there are lots of fun things going on like a new farmers market and a garden club festival. It would be really nice if the sun would ever decide to shine on a Saturday or Sunday!

Even though I'm down about the slow loss, I had a great NSV today. I feel like I just got engaged because I've been looking at my left hand all morning. My engagement ring fits again!!! I haven't worn it in well over a year and it's so embarrassing when people ask me why I don't wear a ring! I'd almost rather say my husband was too cheap to buy me one than admit it doesn't fit! That wouldn't be fair to him though because he did indeed buy me this gorgeous ring from the Orkney Islands off the Northeast cost of Scotland. He was so happy to see me wearing it again and I promised him I would add the wedding band for my next goal. It's very wide and hard to bend my finger if it's even a little tight.

My husband is going out tonight and I get to have whatever I want for dinner. Immediately I was dreaming of all the delicious things I could enjoy alone at home in front of the TV. The world of drive-thrus awaited! In reality, I'm starting my new week by going to my water aerobics class followed by a trip to Fresh Market for some sushi.

Things are really changing. There wasn't a question as to whether or not I would blow it out during my alone time. The answer was no right away...not even a small argument with myself!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

why I hate the scale

I just posted yesterday about how I WILL hit my 5% goal this week but so far the scale is not cooperating. I actually hit that goal on Friday but my official Weight Watchers weigh in is tomorrow and If it stays this way I will have a gain! This just goes to show me how much damage a weekend of drinking can do. Beyond the hangover!

I'm mad at myself for caring so much about what the scale says. Especially when I'm feeling so good about all my progress recently. Yesterday I was practically falling asleep at my desk and never thought I would make it to the gym but I made myself go. It was a great class and my butt, hips and arms are on fire today. Today, even though I woke up sore, I got up at 6 and walked the dogs anyway. It was a beautiful morning and I'm proud of myself for not using soreness as an excuse. More than anything, I just love not having to struggle to put my clothes on. I could even put my jeans on right now without unbuttoning them!

Part of my brain thinks I should only weigh in once a week and forget about it the rest of the week. The other part of my brain knows I need the knowledge I gain about how my body handles different foods and different amounts of exercise. Maybe I'm just over thinking it all because I have a specific goal. Before I joined Weight Watchers, I don't think I ever set goals for myself. Even when I lost 100 pounds. I know the goals WW sets for me are good for me - obviously they are making me work harder and I look forward to the little rewards we get. This is all new to me and I don't want to turn it into an obsession!

So excited for Biggest Loser finale tonight. I'm kinda hoping Tara wins!

Monday, May 11, 2009

The week ahead

Good lord that was a quick weekend! I could really use another day or five.

Successes over the weekend:
• Walking 3 miles on Friday night on major hills.
• Eating only half of my chicken Enchiladas at the Mexican restaurant Saturday.
• Doing extra hill walking and running around with the dogs at mom's in the mountains on Sunday.
• Shopped and prepped for the week despite all my social obligations.

UN-successes over the weekend:
• Drinking too much
• A few too many delicious mom treats

As for the week ahead, I will being going to my water aerobics class tonight, Wednesday, and Friday. Lucy (the crazy puppy) ran into my knee from the side at full force. It feels better today but I'm going to be careful with it so I thought the water would be a good idea. The other 2 days I hope to do 30 minutes walking/jogging in the morning and the same again after work. I'm hoping my water aerobics class is enough resistance training for now because It's actually enjoyable in the water!

This is the week I WILL hit my first big Weight Watchers goal which is 5% so stay tuned for the Wednesday weigh in! Have a great week everyone!

Friday, May 8, 2009

what a morning

I feel like I lived the whole day already between the hours of 6 and 8! I wasn't walking this morning because tonight is my running and swimming night at the gym so I got up a little later and came downstairs to find my husband hosing down the dog. Sophie thought it would be a great idea to roll around in something dead on her morning walk. She loves to roll in smells and it's disgusting. One time she disappeared up the hill at the park and I found her rolling around on a homeless guy under a blanket!

I considered tying her up outside the groomers with a sign that says "wash me", but instead I put her in the shower and washed her as best I could but we're going to have to take her to the self-service dog wash after work to do a better job.

I had no time to pack my lunch and now I can't go to the gym tonight due to emergency dog bath. If I can get home early enough, we're planning on walking to the dog wash which is at least 3 miles round trip.

One good realization that came out of all of this is that my mind seems to be working differently since starting Weight Watchers. I seem to be making exercise a higher priority and finding ways to work it in even if all my plans fall apart or something stressful happens. I had that mindset when I lost 100 pounds before and I'm really happy it's back.

Have a great weekend everyone. Happy Mothers day to all the moms out there! If I think dogs are hard work, moms of REAL children deserve a huge pat on the back!!

p.s. Gigi gave me a blog award and I promise to post my 5 favorites on Monday! She is hilarious and you should read her blog!!

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Holy hormones!

I'm so glad it's almost Friday. Even though it's a busy weekend ahead, I'm ready to be out of the office!

My husband and I are both having hormone issues right now. Man, things start to go all wacky when you get older! He just found out he has low testosterone and my thyroid is suddenly abnormal. Husband is going to be using a gel therapy and I just have to have another blood test in 3 months. The doc says that the low testosterone could be the reason he has trouble building muscle and losing belly fat. Hopefully it will help him lose his last 20 pounds. I made sure he told the doctor that his wife wanted to keep her sweet, sensitive husband and doesn't want the testosterone to turn him into some musclebound man pig :)

I've always wanted my thyroid to be abnormal in the worst way. So much so that my doc would say "sorry, it's normal again." I guess I wanted an excuse and it's something that can be "fixed". It would also help explain why I've been overweight since childhood and why I gained 100 pounds back (aside from eating too much and lack of exercise!). I'm not sure anything is going to come of this new abnormality but we shall see.

In the meantime, I'm feeling great! I couldn't go to my class last night due to the endless thunderstorms here in the Southeast but I did my Biggest Loser Yoga DVD and was so pleased to see how much more I can do now that I've taken off some pounds. I almost made it all the way through planks! It was raining this morning so no morning walk for us or the dogs and now I have to figure out what the exercise of the day will be. I might try a little run outside tonight. All depending on the usual! At least I don't have to water my garden.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

How much did she lose this week?

the Captain James Tiberius Kirk Keepsake Ornament. (in honor of the movie)

.4 pounds

I went back to my Weight Watchers meeting which I really needed to do!

I can't believe I've been missing out on this morning walk...for 2 years! Yes, I have allowed my husband to walk both dogs while my lazy fat lard ass stayed in bed. We live right by East Lake Country Club which is the last stop on the PGA tour every year. It's absolutely gorgeous but I've never seen it as pretty as it is in the morning. Our neighborhood is very quiet for a city neighborhood but in the morning, it's dead silent with the exception of an amazing chorus of birds. If that wasn't enough, my oldest dog Sophie looks so proud to have her mom out walking her.

Last night's Biggest Loser was so inspiring. I think all the contestants touched on the fact that they missed out on so much of life by being obese. THAT is my reason for striving to be healthier and losing this weight. While they were doing the marathon, I came to the conclusion that I have done 4.5 marathons as a 3-Day walker which I had honestly never thought about. If I can do that, I can totally run one one day!

I'm going to my water aerobics class tonight even though I walked this morning. I'm pushing myself to work harder so I can lose 2 pounds a week instead of the 1 I have been averaging.

All in all, not a banner week but I'll take it. My 5% goal is only 2 pounds away. I know I can do that by next week!

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Up and at it!

I managed to get out of bed at 6am and walked the dogs with my husband! It was nice to be out as the sun was rising and it was extra nice not to feel like a fat, lazy pig who stays in bed while her husband is out enjoying the morning. The plan is to do the walk for 20 minutes for the rest of the week and then up to 30 minutes the following week. My ultimate goal is to run in the morning. We'll get there. Now that I have a garden to tend to, I need some extra time and I enjoy being out there after work which leaves only mornings for exercise. I waste so much time getting more sleep than I need. I'm sure I've written this same post a million times but I've just never been a morning person. I know I can make it a habit if I just stick to it for more than a few days.

I've been noticing this girl on my drive home from work. I take back roads that are extremely hilly and I have seen her huffing and puffing her way along for the last few weeks. She can't be more than 16 and the poor thing probably feels like the fattest girl in her private school. She's not fat by my standards but at that age, 20 pounds can ruin years of your life. I secretly wish her the best every time I see her. I hope that she can win this battle now and create healthy habits so she never has to worry about it at my age. Bless her heart as we say :)

Time for some yogurt! Have a good day everyone!

Monday, May 4, 2009

I haven't given up!

Really I haven't! I'm only up 2 pounds even though for the last 2 weeks I've been very sporadic about eating, tracking, exercising and posting. Things have calmed down a little this afternoon so I thought I would have some me time.

Things are busy again at work which is good, I've applied for my DREAM job, my oldest dog had a tooth pulled, and we're starting to paint our house. It's been really crazy! I haven't heard anything from the dream job yet but I only sent off my stuff on Thursday. I'm more than perfect for this. I just hope they can see me through the tons of resumes I'm sure they are getting. My first thought was having to interview at this size...especially when part of the job involves New York and fashion designers. I promised myself I wouldn't worry about that because negativity is not what I need right now!

I spent 3 hours cleaning the fridge yesterday due to a Coke Zero explosion. If anyone is looking for some motivation to eat healthy, a sparkling clean fridge is the way to go! When I was making our lunches this morning, I was looking at the gorgeous array of food for the week all neatly organized on the clean white shelves. I can't help but be excited to cook it! And yes! It takes very little to excite me.

3 things I saw in the 'hood this weekend that were amusing and then I will let you go.
1. A new illegal street vendor selling 800 thread count sheets.
2. A drunk bum taking pictures in the middle of the street with a digital camera.
3. Someone asking at the deli counter why they don't offer peas on sandwiches.

Have a great week everyone. Can't wait to see what y'all have been up to!